The Philly naked bike ride required masks this year 🤣
· Aug 30, 2021 ·

The whole point of a naked bike ride is to throw off the shackles of authority and celebrate the freedom of the human body and spirit.

Unless, of course, your free-spirited nudity goes against the moral edicts of our new woke religion and the patron saint of masks, St. Anthony Fauci.

In THAT case, you have to celebrate throwing off your shackles by literally muzzling your face.

You may be wondering how a thin cloth mask could possibly play any difference in viral spread when you're riding outdoors at 30mph with your bits and kibble flapping freely in the wind.

Your problem is that you have a functioning brain.

To save the public conscience from the horrors of woke bodies bouncing on bicycles, I will spare you of the video of the actual event.

Sufficed to say, however, the majority of participants strapped a face diaper on as they let the rest of their bodies hang out for the world to see.

Check out these PG photos of some of the participants:

One things is for sure: Masking up doesn't protect you from the haunting images of naked bike events.

If you need me, I'll be washing off my eyeballs for the next few hours!

P.S. Now check out our latest video 👇

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