Rebecca Blithe is a writer and editor for the NZ Herald and is desperately grasping at straws trying to find inequality and sexism all around her. In her recent opinion piece, she attempts to rip apart classic children's books and find issues and "patriarchy" in all of them.

Now let's review her review.

1. The Mr. Men series by Roger Hargreaves

Rebecca recognizes these are classic books, but notes that Dr. Seuss was also a classic and look what happened to that guy! He was canceled for allegedly being a horrible racist.

Rebecca's problem with the series are the names of the characters, she compared the Mr. Men series to the Little Miss line up. Mr. Strong and Mr. Funny compared to Little Miss Chatterbox and Little Miss Giggles.

That's what she's mad about.

But it takes a two second Google search to find all the other characters like Mr. Lazy, Mr. Mean, Mr. Nonsense, Mr. Rude, and even Mr. Wrong­. And for the little ladies – Little Miss Brave, Little Miss Wise, and Little Miss Inventor, just to name a few.

Seems pretty diverse. After looking at the list of characters, it seems like the Mr. Men characters have more negative connotations than the Little Misses, but I'm not about to yell about it.

This was some lazy cherry picking, Becca. Can I call you Becca?

2. The Tiger Who Came to Tea by Judith Kerr

Now get this, Becca is upset with the father in the story because he had the audacity to take the family out for dinner after the tiger has eaten all the food.

Um… I guess what she's saying here is that the mother in the story was flustered because she didn't have food ready for her husband and then the man came to the rescue and took them out for dinner.

But also, a tiger just came into your home and ate all your food and drank everything– yeah, I'd be a little flustered too.

3. The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein

Becca calls this one, "A popular yet highly divisive book." Her beef with it is that it's… sexist.

She writes:

"Praised as a lesson in unconditional love on the one hand… encouraging of an exploitative relationship and exemplary of a son treated in such a way as to create a human incapable of gratitude and reciprocity."

Give me a break. Mothers love and they love unconditionally, no matter if they have a son or a daughter. I don't think having an amazing mother that would do anything for you will turn a boy into a psychopath.

4. Giraffes Can't Dance by Giles Andreae and Gary Parker-Rees

A story about a giraffe that gets teased for being a bad dancer who later finds his groove and then gets cheered on. This is bad because "To be accepted, you'll have to find a way to be good at it," Becca explains.

Learning new skills, working to become better at something and gaining confidence isn't unheard of and shouldn't be seen as a negative process. Bullying is bad. Learning new things is good.

5. Butt Out! By Stuart Lynch

Ok, I can't even with this one…

Becca claims the big squishy butt in the book encourages "cruel taunts" and belittles the character rather than teaching kindness and acceptance.

Alright, it's a squishy butt and kids are gonna squish it! Plus, it's 2021, big butts are in. Get over it.

6. Where the Wild Things Are, by Maurice Sendak

Max, the main character in the book, gets in trouble with his mom and she punishes him by sending him to his room without dinner. Becca (and her friend who apparently helped come up with these ridiculous points) calls this abuse.

Yep… they're calling it trauma and abuse.

Umm… ok, moving on.

7. Frida Kahlo (Little People, Big Dreams), By Maria Isabel Sanchez Vegara

Even Becca herself had to admit this book is absolutely woke BUT there's always a but, ALWAYS.

A footnote of the hardback version reads, "…she took part in tomboy activities like riding a bike and playing sports, and once wore male clothes..."

Oh, they done it. Using the term tomboy really triggered our sensitive Becca.

Conclusion

No matter how woke you are it will never be good enough. Crazy leftists are going to be crazy leftists. We should not have to cancel Dr. Seuss and desperately search for the evil patriarchy in all corners of the earth.

Let kids squish that butt in Butt Out!

And sometimes when they're bad, you may have to send them to bed with no dinner.