Hookup apps are particularly awful ways to date, if you even want to call what they do with hookup apps "dating."
But apparently they're dangerous as well—so dangerous that you can now be subject to a Form 1-783 if you use them:
Match Group Inc.'s Tinder is introducing a tool to let users run background checks on prospective dates, as the company continues to address concerns about the safety of dating apps.
Match Group said it has been developing the tool since last March, when it announced an investment in Garbo Technology Corp., a nonprofit background check organization.
Tinder members who tap the feature in the app's safety center will be directed to Garbo to fill in information about themselves as well as details about their match, such as name and phone number.
What a world. We've come a long way. Time was, man and woman had a pretty simple framework by which to structure their lives together:
"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." - Genesis 1:27
Now it's somewhere along the lines of:
Fill this background check out so I know you won't murder me during our empty, meaningless, soul-crushing one-night stand.
Pro tip for anyone who needs it: Get off hookup apps, go to church, meet someone there, and marry them. Done.
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