After years of effort, Australian billionaire Clive Palmer has re-re-announced plans to build Titanic II — a replica of the luxurious ship that famously sank in 1912, resulting in the death of over 1,500 of the 2,224 people on board, including Leonardo DiCaprio.

Palmer first announced plans for a bizarre sequel to Titanic in 2012, and again in 2018, and now once again in 2024 during a press briefing outside the Sydney Opera House.

Third time's a charm!

"It's a lot more fun to do the Titanic than it is to sit at home and count my money," Palmer reportedly said. Not for the people who drowned, it's not.

"We are very pleased to announce that after unforeseen global delays, we have reengaged with partners to bring the dream of Titanic ll to life. Let the journey begin," he added in a press release.

According to reports, Palmer is looking to provide travelers with an authentic experience...

The ship itself will be 269 meters (833 feet) long and 32.2 meters (105 feet) wide - slightly wider than the original. Capacity will be 2,345 passengers spread across nine decks with 835 cabins. Almost half of those will be reserved for first class passengers.

Third class passengers will be treated to stew and mash at long tables in a communal dining room - as they were on the original boat - though a spokesperson said other meals will also be available for those who want a less authentic experience.

What makes this even weirder is that after completion, Titanic II will follow the original route of Titanic ... presumably avoiding icebergs along the way.

And if this morbid recreation does include any involuntary outdoor swimming sessions, hopefully there will at least be a surplus of doors so that heroic poverty-stricken artists won't have to needlessly freeze to death while first class passengers bogart the only floating device left after a 46,000 ton ship fell apart in the middle of the ocean.

Or, you know, life boats.

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