UK singer has exorcism to divorce the ghost she "married" last year: "Being married to a ghost is harder than most people think"
· Jul 30, 2023 ·

We were supposed to have flying cars in 2023. Instead we've got alimony battles between humans and ghosts.

It all started in November of 2022, when singer Brocarde made headlines by "marrying" a Victorian soldier named Edwardo -- a long dead Victorian soldier.

Yes, she married a ghost. She had a ceremony and everything. Anybody can marry anything with a ceremony, right?

Of course it's a ghost that only she can see and talk to, but is it any less crazy than marrying a cat or a rag doll?

However, I'd be willing to wager that the rag doll didn't start cheating on his wife within three months like old Edwardo did. Brocarde claims her other-worldly husband started having an affair with Marilyn Monroe's ghost, coming in late at night smelling of Chanel No. 5 and making inappropriate comments about the dead singer.

(Side note: Who can blame him? Sorry.)

That's when the unholy couple started going to a medium for marriage counseling. Movies have taught me those counseling sessions most likely involved wet clay, a pottery wheel, and "Unchained Melody" playing in the background.

In the end, it wasn't the infidelity that ended the relationship, it was the issue of children.

Brocarde said,

He got unbearably intense and started haunting me with a screaming baby after I told him I didn't want his children.

He used to punish me for wanting something different as I didn't want a conventional family and to have children so soon after our wedding.

She claims Edwardo started haunting her with the sounds of babies screaming in the night.

She added: "Being married to a ghost is harder than most people think."

That's when she decided to divorce the ghost with an exorcism. She described the experience as

...harrowing and haunting as I lost control of all my limbs, with every part of my body shaking and sweating.

It also gave me a bout of tourettes and a craving for raw lemons.

But of course, she used this whole harrowing experience of marrying an evil spirit and having it cast out of her to inspire her music...

Which I will be taking a hard pass on.

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