The political world was abuzz this week as the GOP released its much-anticipated 2024 party platform.
And while there's a lot to digest here, particularly concerning the Republican party's softening on abortion and the sanctity of marriage, one thing seems inescapably clear from all of this:
The platform reads like it was penned by the hand of Donald Trump himself.
Here, for instance, is the opening of the platform document:
Folks, if that text wasn't scrawled by Trump's gold-plated pen, I don't know if anything ever was.
It's not just the header, either. The text of the document itself reads as if Trump typed it up with those most beautiful of orange sausage fingers.
For decades, our politicians sold our jobs and livelihoods to the highest bidders overseas with unfair Trade Deals and a blind faith in the siren song of globalism. They insulated themselves from criticism and the consequences of their own bad actions, allowing our Borders to be overrun, our cities to be overtaken by crime, our System of Justice to be weaponized, and our young people to develop a sense of hopelessness and despair. They rejected our History and our Values. Quite simply, they did everything in their power to destroy our Country.
Count how many unnecessarily, hilariously capitalized words you can detect in that one paragraph alone.
Few things mark Trump's style more than out-of-place capitalizations. Perhaps the only thing more familiar to his brand is ALL CAPS.
And my friends, I am pleased to report that the GOP's 2024 platform has the ALL CAPS.
Just loaded with capital letters!
That's gotta be Trump!
On top of the uniquely Trumpian capitalization, there is a great deal of delightfully pro-American, unapologetic bombast:
Republicans will restore safety in our neighborhoods by replenishing Police Departments, restoring Common Sense Policing, and protecting Officers from frivolous lawsuits. We will stand up to Marxist Prosecutors, vigorously defend the Right of every American to live in peace, and we will compassionately address homelessness to restore order to our streets. ...
Republicans will promote beauty in Public Architecture and preserve our Natural Treasures. We will build cherished symbols of our Nation, and restore genuine Conservation efforts. ...
We will hold accountable those who have misused the power of Government to unjustly prosecute their Political Opponents. We will declassify Government records, root out wrongdoers, and fire corrupt employees.
There is just no doubt about it: The Orange Man himself had a heavy hand in this platform. Got to love seeing those Trump trademarks in there!
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