Using seasonal terms like “summer” and “winter” is now evil, you bigots

May 29th

Are you looking forward to white boy summer??

If so, you are the greatest fascist this world has probably ever seen.

That's right. If you use the term "summer" for your hemisphere's current season, it may exclude and offend someone in the other hemisphere who is experiencing winter.

To be more inclusive, we must sterilize the evil beauty of language and refer to everything in business terms.

And for MAXIMUM INCLUSIVITY, a bigoted term like "white boy summer" should be changed to "Q3 of the non-binary individual of unspecified ethnicity"!!

Go out there and enjoy your Q3 vacation, but maybe don't refer to it as "vacation" since not everyone will get to take time off and that might offend someone.

And if you meet someone special on a hot Q3 night, before the leaves of Q4 fall and turn into the Q1 of our discontent, make sure to woo them with the depths of historic poetry!

Shall I compare thee to a mid-Q3 day?

Thou art more lovely and more temperate:

Rough winds do shake the darling buds of Month 5,

And Q3's lease hath all too short a date..."


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