If at the end of a long week you like to kick back, uncork a bottle of Italian red, savor the tannins and relish the complex mouthfeel of an exquisite bottle of artisanal wine...well, may we kindly suggest you look elsewhere?

An exuberant entrepreneur, art collector and former investment banker, [Tullio Masoni] created what he says is the world's smallest vineyard atop a 16th-century palazzo in the heart of Reggio Emilia. ...

At just over 200 square feet, Via Mari 10 yields only 29 bottles of red wine a year, which Masoni then prices at an eye-watering 5,000 euros (about $5,000) each. Aptly for the cost, the bottles aren't sold in a wine shop, but in an art gallery -- Bonioni Arte -- just a few blocks away.

Wow! Five thousand smackers a pop!

That must be a really superb-quality wine. Pour me a glass, fratello!

Well, actually, wait a second here:

"I'm the only wine producer in the world who says you shouldn't drink his wine," he said.

Oh.

Nominally, this is because Masoni thinks his wine should be more of a statement piece than anything.

But, I mean look, in my mind, if a winemaker is telling me not to drink his product, he's probably not making top-shelf wine.

And what does Signore Masoni say about his own vino?

"At the first sip you get a lot of perplexity, but after a few seconds something comes alive in your palate that opens up your mind to a new dimension," he said, carefully weighing each word.

Haha okay yeah, sounds like it's not very good stuff. Pass!

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