Climate change is literally burning our children!!

Playgrounds are vulnerable to overheating for two key reasons. They're often made of materials that retain a lot of heat, and they lack shade.

Whoa whoa whoa. Do you mean to tell me that objects left out in direct sunlight get hot?!

Sadly, it's true.

As monkey bars and bucket swings get hot enough to hurt in our warming world, kids are running out of places to play safely.

Metal bars and frames pose an obvious risk. But the Sydney researchers were also struck by a rubber dolphin apparatus. The surface of this piece of play equipment reached a temperature of 197 degrees, while some black swings got as hot as 180 degrees.

I can personally attest to this. I remember back when I was growing up when average global temperatures were 2 degrees cooler, black swings baking in direct sunlight only reached a more child-safe 178 degrees.

In Denver last month, a toddler got second-degree burns from walking barefoot for less than two minutes across a rubber playground surface that reached 160 degrees.

This did not have to happen. If only we had completely abandoned our modern way of life and reduced global temperatures by two degrees this could have been avoided. Also, had the grandmother who was supposed to be watching the kid not permitted him to wander away barefoot unattended in the blazing sun, so yeah, that too, I guess. Of course, she took full responsibility for the incident, and by "took full responsibility" I mean didn't.

"I will take responsibility for him not having shoes on, but even if he had shoes on, if he would have fallen, he would have burnt his hands or he could have burnt his face," Robbins said.

Exactly! Why, he could have eaten something dangerous, too, or had been abducted while you weren't paying attention.

So, maybe 1% your fault, if that.

"I don't understand how you can have something so dangerous at a place like this and not expect some sort of injury," Robbins said.

A playground! Out in the sun!

What. Were. They. Thinking.

WaPo writer Alyssa Rosenberg, apparently not remembering what she wrote a few paragraphs earlier, piled on and amped up the hype.

At those temperatures, children could burn their legs and hands in just a few seconds — like the Denver 2-year-old did.

A few seconds. No longer the two minutes, "like the Denver 2-year old did." Now it's a few seconds because in modern journalism, it's the narrative that is the real truth, not actual truth which is probably a white patriarchal social construct anyway.

Rather than despair or default to screen time, parents should use baking playgrounds to introduce important lessons in climate resilience and citizenship.

I think the kids would face less enduring injuries face-planting on a baking hot metal slide than having to sit through that.

Rosenberg then gets all sciency on us, feeling the need to explain to us that when you put your hand on something hot, it gets hot! No, really, it does. She has pictures and everything.

The handprint area looks lighter because the hand absorbed 11 degrees of heat from the slide after a 3-second touch.

It's like she's wild-eyed with wonder, discovering the principle of conduction heat transfer for the very first time.

Incidentally, three seconds is a really long time to be touching something hot. It takes about 27 milliseconds for the nerve impulses to make the round trip between your hand and your brain, and if it's hot enough, your brain won't even make the decision, you'll just yank your hand away reflexively. So 3000 milliseconds is a long time.

Rosenberg patiently explains that these surfaces get hot in the first place, because playgrounds are typically, well, outside, and so tend to sit in the sun.

And she has a study to back her up.

A group of American professors who looked at 100 playground spaces across the United States deemed many in a 2019 study "unsuitable for any form of play or leisure."

This was an actual study, one designed to scientifically prove once and for all, that not being in direct sun is less hot than being in direct sun.

Shade provision in public playgrounds for thermal safety and sun protection: A case study across 100 play spaces in the United States

Minimal shading was encountered, 67% of playgrounds visited were not shaded between the hours of 10:00 a.m. and 2:00 p.m.

That would be my playground growing up. Everything metal, all on an expanse of black asphalt. It taught us something, something I have carried with me ever since.

Actions have consequences.

Part of the study cited previous studies that documented similar Captain-Obvious conclusions.

A fall onto a shock-absorbing surface is less likely to cause a serious head injury than a fall onto a hard surface (Ball, 2004, Chalmers et al., 1996), with fall height being a significant predictor of injury severity (Fiissel, Pattison, & Howard, 2005).

Their assessment of their own study?

This case study provides critical insight, discussion, and novel questions pertaining to the holistic consideration of numerous aspects of playground safety, which can mutually support social and ecological values while providing health co-benefits.

Imagine being this insufferable.

By the way, you paid for this.

The national sampling of playgrounds was funded by the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission.

You're welcome.

Having identified the problems, direct sunlight and climate change (of course), our intrepid journalist shares her insights.

Shade can come from trees,...

She isn't just speculating here, either, relying on, oh I don't know, direct observation, common sense, an elementary understanding of heat transfer? No, she has yet more studies and pictures and charts. Here's a favorite, proving once and for all that it's cooler in the shade.

She doesn't end there.

It gets even more painful to read.

Even switching the color of playground materials can make a difference. White concrete tends to be cooler than red brick;...

Even!

It's like I'm looking at the world through the eyes of a child.

Lest you think she's forgotten about the climate angle, not to worry, the Washington Post style guide wouldn't permit that.

Transforming the playground could be just the beginning for little lobbyists.

If that isn't the most Washington DC thing I've read in a while.

Next up might be demanding solar panels on the school roof, a gym that can act as a cooling station in heat emergencies or a food-waste-management program operating out of the cafeteria. If children are supposed to build a better world, let them start by fixing the spaces intended to let their dreams take flight.

Their dreams, or yours?

They always want to get them while they're young, to turn them into faithful servants to the narrative like the dogs in Animal Farm, abducted as puppies the better to "educate" them.

To sum up:

• Trees are good.
• Things get hot in the sun.
• It's cooler in the shade.
• Darker colors absorb more heat than lighter ones.
• Our playgrounds are literal infernos not fit for human habitation because it's two degrees hotter outside on average maybe somewhere, and also we need to install solar panels and manage food waste better.

Enjoy your summer, just don't go anywhere near an unshaded playground.

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