People are having a hard time comprehending this one, and so am I.

The FBI wants us to know that there are a bunch of retail theft operations plaguing our country's retail sector; they also want us to know that affluent white women are the kind of people who are committing the crimes.

I guess you could call this a little white lie from the FBI.

🤣🤣🤣

Organized Retail Theft (ORT), also known as Organized Retail Crime (ORC), is the large-scale theft of retail merchandise with the intent to resell the stolen items for financial gain. ORT may involve a criminal enterprise that employs a group of individuals to steal large quantities of merchandise from multiple stores. These ORT groups maintain or utilize fencing operations to convert the stolen goods into cash.

The stolen items are then resold through various means including:

• Online auction sites
• Flea markets
• Retailers
• Pawn shops
• E-commerce marketplaces

And it's not people like this committing the crimes:

It's people like this:

Yeah bro, all those other examples from above, those are white people who have painted their skin so that you'll be tricked into thinking they're BIPOCs. This Organized Retail Theft business is a white business, and if you think otherwise, you're a bigot and probably deserve to be investigated by the FBI.

Keep an eye out for all those whiteys looting your local Target, LuLuLemon, Nordstroms, and jewelry stores. And let the FBI know if you see any of these yetis trying to yank items from the shelves.

(I'm not saying white people don't steal - I'm just saying the FBI won't even admit that the people running these five-finger-discount operations aren't white suburban moms.)

Okay, since I can't take this story seriously, I'll leave you with some of the internet's best responses to it:

Not gonna lie, I also thought this was a parody FBI account when I first saw it.

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