This is your classic story of a rancher heading off on his quad to round up a loose cow -- cooler full of frosty Keystone Lights on board, of course! -- and flipping the dang ATV over on himself, smashing his ribs up and becoming munsoned out in the wild blue yonder, stuck under the machine, forced to survive on his stash of brews for 2 days.
Btw how perfect is it that it was KEYSTONE LIGHT.
Family thought Reynolds had gone camping or was with friends, said Quentin Reynolds, the Campbell County undersheriff and Frank's brother.
Later Monday, they began to worry. Eventually, they learned Frank Reynolds had planned to do some work on the property, where he was laying with a dislocated shoulder and broken ribs.
A search began. Reynolds, meanwhile, honked the ATV's horn so much he wore down the battery — to no avail.
He was able to ration a couple of bottles of water and Keystone Light beers from a cooler, Sheriff Scott Matheny said.
Thank God he was a true blue American and had some cheap light brews in a cooler strapped to his quad. Otherwise he would've been even hungrier after those two days in the wild.
Who wants to bet that he celebrated his rescue with a few cold Keystones?
Cheers to this man! Now you have a heck of a story to tell, sir!
P.S. Now check out our latest video: "The Media's Constant Lies Are Fueling This Chaos" 👇