Well, it's Halloween weekend, and apparently on woke college campuses that means we gotta all put our heads together and make sure we're not appropriating anyone else's culture with our costumes.

Yes, a bunch of universities nationwide are warning students about the evils of cultural appropriation and how much you could hurt someone's feelings if you dress up as something they identify as on Halloween.

I'm serious.

Let's start with the University of Wisconsin, where they've got an entire webpage devoted to the issue.

Culture is Not a Costume: Understanding and Respecting Cultures

If you choose to take part in any Halloween activities this weekend, we ask you to be responsible and respectful so that we maintain a safe and welcoming community. Costumes that are racist, crude, or culturally insensitive can impact others. Before choosing a costume that represents a culture or an identity that you don't hold, think about the significance of culture and how we can appreciate and learn from differing backgrounds rather than appropriating other identities in a harmful way.

I never thought one of the most prestigious party schools in the nation would be dropping buzzkill lines like this.

Like bro, it's Halloween, and I'm going to dress up as whatever I darn well please. And cultural appropriation is pretty much the entire point of dressing up for Halloween.

Also, let's not forget, when I dress up as something on Halloween, that means I honestly want to be that character for the entire night — that I think it's cool. I'm pretty sure if I think your culture is cool that's a good thing, even if I get a few details wrong and offend that one kid with the megaphone who seems to be dressed up as some sort of Antifa anarchist lesbian.

Other schools have joined in on the woke Halloween buzzkilling. These schools include Nebraska, Ohio, Colorado, Baylor, Michigan, and probably a hundred other schools that didn't make the above article.

The University of Ohio's My Culture Is Not a Costume webpage is a dandy, and you must visit it to get the full effect.

I'll give you this screenshot, because if I write it out you might not believe me:

Yeah dude, I've seen this on a few of these woke university websites now and it's scary that literal adults are being treated like literal toddlers on Halloween.

It's kinda sad, honestly.

Real quick I want to go back to Wisconsin's cultural appropriation nonsense, because there's an important detail we need to go over.

Take a quick read over this and then we'll talk about it:

It is often viewed as disrespectful when cultural elements are copied from a marginalized culture by members of the dominant culture and used outside of their cultural context.

Are you seeing what's going on here?

See, you can't wear costumes depicting marginalized cultures (everything but straight white people), but you'll probably get away with appropriating those dirty rotten no-good whites.

Seriously, you can dress up as a white person if you're a person of color, that's no big deal — it's not cultural appropriation.

Here's Harrison Wells, chairman of the University of Wisconsin Young Americans for Freedom chapter:

They tend to protect certain groups that they believe need to be protected. And I can say, you know, as a Catholic, when individuals dress up as priests or nuns, the school does nothing about it. And I believe the whole point of Halloween is to dress up as something that you are not. It is to pretend to be something you are not for that day.

So you see what's happening here.

"Equity."

Equity is somehow what's happening here, and I cannot for the life of me understand how equity has made its way into culturally appropriating Halloween costumes, or, for that matter, how cultural appropriation on Halloween somehow became bad. It's literally the whole point of dressing up on Halloween!

Anyhow, happy Halloween to all you non wokies out there.

This weekend I'll be appropriating dead Biden voter culture.

Tell us in the comments which culture you'll be appropriating this Halloween.