You think Bernie Sanders calling for a 4-day work week is a little loopy? Well step aside, Bernie, because you're about 20 years behind the trend in the world of equity.

Despite over-the-counter pain medication being available for purchase across the country for people of all races — including [gasp!] black people — Advil has thrown its hat into the ring of equity.

Pain equity, to be precise.

Launched in 2023, clips of the multi-year initiative have resurfaced, sparking the return of our favorite past-time: finding ever-more creative forms of victimhood.

"The Advil Pain Equity Project is a long-term commitment to champion equitable and accessible pain relief, created by Advil and launched in partnership with Morehouse School of Medicine and BLKHLTH," Advil announced.

(Gee, America is so racist that black organizations can't even afford vowels!)

"The Advil Pain Equity Project's first campaign, Believe My Pain, is focused on illuminating the issue of pain inequity in Black communities."

So ... what does this mean? Well, the truth becomes a bit more clear when we check out this display case of Advil products accompanied by jargon so nonsensical it might have been created by Kamala Harris herself.

• "3 in 4 Black people suffering from pain believe there is bias in how pain is treated."
• "Pain equity occurs when everyone can reach their full potential."
• "We commit to inspire change by elevating stories and providing education."
• "Together we will address pain bias at the source."
• "Buy Advil!" Ok ... I made that one up.

Setting aside the irony of racism being to blame for the over-medication and now under-medication of minorities, the premise of Believe My Pain appears to be a 2000-person survey conducted by Advil alongside Morehouse School of Medicine which "found that 64% of Black individuals felt their healthcare providers treat people of their race and ethnicity worse than people of other races and ethnicities."

The study also concluded that "2 out of 3 black people suffering from pain say their pain became worse or stayed the same after a negative healthcare experience," and "only 51% of black people suffering from pain feel supported by their healthcare professional."

"Felt." "Say." "Feel."

Science!

Advil didn't explain whether any of those surveyed have been listening in on their doctor treating someone of a different race (which would be quite the HIPAA violation) ... but who needs actual proof of racism these days when people believe racism exists?

And even if we believe that pain equity is a thing, what's the solution? Beyond buying more Advil, we'll have to wait and see! "Part 4: Solutions for Pain Equity — Discover perspectives on preventing and overcoming inequitable pain experiences" is still marked as "Coming Soon."

Dr. Jill Biden has yet to comment.

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