Tell me if this makes, you know, any sense to you at all:
The Texas student who allegedly opened fire at his high school, injuring four people, including a teacher, was sprung from jail on Thursday afternoon — as an attorney who joined him insisted that the case wasn't a "standard-issue school shooting."
Timothy George Simpkins, 18, who attends Timberview High School in Arlington, will report to home confinement after he posted $75,000 bond at Tarrant County Jail, news station WFAA reported.
Simpkins, who was wearing a blue baseball cap and graphic T-shirt, didn't answer questions from reporters as he was escorted from the jailhouse by two relatives into the back seat of a white Mercedes sedan.
Uh, what?
You mean to tell me that authorities suspect this guy of literally opening fire inside of a school building, hitting four people including a faculty member... and they just let him walk out the door?
The media are predictably having a field day with this one, but the young man's lawyer, for one, is not having any of these alleged false equivalencies:
Civil rights attorney Kim T. Cole, who spoke on behalf of the family, blasted reporters outside the jail for portraying the dangerous incident as a "standard-issue school shooting."
"There are numerous school shootings that have occurred across this country which are tragic. All school shootings are tragic," Cole said. "However, in this situation, this was not someone who was just out to go and shoot a school and had made up their mind [and said,] ‘You know hey I'm upset and I'm just going to shoot anyone I see.'"
"That was not the situation here. So I request the media correct their narrative with regard to what happened, and that you all respect the family's privacy," she continued.
Ohhhh! This wasn't a "standard-issue school shooting."
It was a limited-edition school shooting! A one-run, specially-minted shooting incident, available only for a brief period of time, to just four lucky victims.
Let's keep an eye on this one and see where it goes but I can't see how it gets any crazier.
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