So an animal rights group tried to get "Happy," an elephant in the Bronx Zoo, moved to a wildlife sanctuary. The basis of their claim? Happy deserves human-like rights.

An appellate court, however, begged to differ. Turns out that according to SOME people, human rights are for... well... humans.

According to a report from Fox 59,

"A judge ruling against the petition from the Nonhuman Rights Project in February, saying New York state courts have ruled that animals are not legally 'persons.'"

The Wildlife Conservation Society, which runs the zoo, was pleased with the decision. In fact, they also appear to be under the radical delusion that animals and humans are not the same. Those animal-hating bigots called this a victory for "common sense."

And they even had the audacity to suggest that animal rights hippies with no zoological training or familiarity with Happy's needs might not be in the best position to judge what is best for the elephant.

"All decisions regarding the health and welfare of the animals at the Bronx Zoo should and will be made by the zoo's animal experts who know them best."

So, Happy is going to stay put at the zoo.