Snails are on average a little gross. Snails that ruin your garden are a nuisance. Humongous snails that give you meningitis, on the other hand, require ... a bit of an official response:

Giant snails that can grow up to eight inches long, the size of a rat, have forced an entire Florida town into quarantine.

The invasive shelled gastropods, which are native to Africa, are carrying the parasite lungworm that leads to meningitis in humans.

This quarantine will last for two years, but unlike the coronavirus lockdowns, residents are just prohibited from moving plants, soil, yard waste, debris, compost and building materials outside the zone.

Any guesses as to how these poor folks are going to dispose of their yard waste over the next two years? I have some ideas:

Getting rid of these pests, meanwhile, is not easy, at least insofar as if you want it done you gotta do it yourself:

The snails are also hard to eradicate because they do not have any natural predators. Each snail can live up to nine years and grow to be eight inches in length, roughly the size of an adult's hand from tip of the finger to the crease under the palm.

Freaking wild man. I have some ideas for how folks can take care of these slimy beasts down there in the Florida backwoods:

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