Squad members AOC and Omar propose no-brainer solution for COVID — just pay people not to work!

Nov 20th

Congressional "Squad" members Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Ilhan Omar dazzled the nation once more with their thorough understanding of human nature, logic, and basic math, taking to Twitter to declare a definitive solution to the COVID lockdown problem.

That solution? Just have the government pay everyone to stay home!

That's right, everyone! We've been so stupid, thinking of fundamental market principles such as cash flow, profit margins, elasticity, scarcity, demand, and logistics. As every business owner knows, you can just pack up shop for a few weeks and not run the risk of running out of cash, having your inventory sour, having employees walk, losing your customers, or ceding ground to bigger competitors with more fat who would gladly absorb your customers when you fold.

Apparently, some super-dumb people started criticizing AOC and Omar. A few numbskulls even tried to argue that, you know, the government doesn't actually generate revenue and only has money because of the taxes it collects from businesses and citizens. They actually had the gall to suggest that money is generated by and belongs to the people, and is actually only collected by government on behalf of the people "to pay the debts and provide for the common defense and general welfare."

These morose dummies have obviously never heard of the U.S. Mint, amiright??

"Where will that free money come from?" asked Tim Young. Um, obviously a printer? Duh.

"Pay people to produce zero products and services with money we don't have to fight a virus with a 99.95% survival rate under age 70," says user Quoth the Raven. "This way, unemployed people wind up with dollars that purchase nothing, which doesn't matter b/c there's no products being made."

Obviously, this user is under the impression that goods and services have to be produced for civilization to function.

What a dummy!

Fox News contributor Rachel Campos-Duff pointed out that such a plan is basically Communism. Since places like North Korea are beautiful utopias overflowing with freedom and abundant, top-end goods and services, I'm not sure what the problem is.

Conservative commentator Allie Stuckey argued that work is an essential and necessary component of human nature and dignity, but I've never known of anyone who has become depressed or lost the will to live because they had their hopes, dreams, and livelihoods taken away from them.

Fellow Congressman Dan Crenshaw said that AOC and Omar's brilliant idea rests upon a culture that has become entitled and philosophically bankrupt, but since he's a Republican, his opinion doesn't matter.

There were definitely plenty of people who agreed with the Squad members on their proposal. Nothing bad has ever or could ever come from incentivizing people to stay home, take no responsibility, and produce no value to society!! Everyone knows humans are basically good creatures with zero tendency toward greed, avarice, and evil!

Facing the backlash from her critics, AOC reminded us of the real villains: REPUBLICANS.

All Republicans care about is money. It's not like there are a bunch of rich, leftist on Wall Street that heavily support Democrats and are profiting immensely from you and I staying home while they crush small businesses and force people to use their online services in order to conduct life! Just think of it: a member of the government wants to bribe you to stay inside so they can have more control over every aspect of your life.

What could go wrong?


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