On Tuesday, Apple announced a few new products, including updates to their Apple Watch and iPad line, and they're so boring that they could almost be dismissed for a late April Fools joke. Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge Apple fan and am typing this on an overpriced iMac hooked up to a WAY overpriced Pro Display XDR, but, come on man! This product launch was just ... lame.

I watched most of the Apple event, and they are STRUGGLING to convince their customers to buy these new products. In fact, the biggest announcement of the day was that they are actually giving customers less value for their money by removing the charger adapter from new Apple Watch boxes. They did this for "environmental" reasons, yet they still didn't discount the price of the Watch by any appreciable amount. So which was it, the environment, or trying to save a few bucks on each product shipped?

With that knowledge bomb out of the way, here are my thoughts on the new products...

First up, the Apple Watch Series 6. This "groundbreaking" watch can basically differentiate itself from the Series 5 by its addition of a new sensor for blood-oxygen levels. This is a health metric that most people simply don't care about on a daily basis, but in the age of coronavirus, they might be tapping into something that, let's say, 4% of the population have been asking for. Other than that, it's the same watch with a slightly brighter screen and (gasps) 20% faster processing. Not that your Series 5 was ever taxed as it was, but now you can at least convince yourself that the watch is milliseconds faster at notifying you how few steps you've taken today.

Next up, the iPad. There's a new iPad. It's the same as the old ones, but lighter. And the old ones weren't heavy. This one is just less not heavy. Other than that, it does the same thing the other iPads do. Oh, but it comes in a couple extra colors...and that, my friends, is progress!

For completeness, I will also mention that they are launching the Apple Watch SE. There, I said it.