Nerd that I am, I was super excited about this for five seconds:
The film, with financing from Sony Pictures Entertainment as well as its own investment, will be directed by Wes Ball, the American director of the upcoming "Planet of the Apes" film. It's being co-produced by Nintendo and Arad Productions Inc., which is behind the live-action Spider-Man films and headed by Avi Arad.
As for who will be playing the beloved Princess Zelda, fans are calling for Hunter Schafer to take on the role, citing her [sic] appearance and acting prowess as the perfect combination for such a famous video game character.
Hunter Schafer is known for her [sic] role in Euphoria, as well as the upcoming film The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes.
As you might have picked up from the "sics," Hunter Schafer is not, in fact, a woman. Hunter Schafer is a man.
Here he is as a young boy:
He has, in the intervening years, radically transformed himself into a facsimile of a woman:
Just as we're getting a movie of one of the most iconic franchises in pop culture history, they're calling for it to be trans'd up.
Because of course.
Everyone knows men play better princesses than women in 2023!
Be prepared to see many more video game movies going forward. Remember, the "Super Mario Bros. Movie" absolutely shattered global box office records earlier this year. They're not going to give up that cash cow.
Zelda's really got nothing in way of the big screen outside a few half-hearted cartoon attempts here and there and that's it. The closest they ever came was this bizarre Japanese commercial from the 1990s:
Ultimatum: If they hire this dude to play Zelda, I'm gonna be rooting for Ganon.
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