Here at Not The Bee, we do our best to stay in our own lane of weird-but-real news, allowing our brothers at The Babylon Bee to range freely over the satirical skies and amber waves of this great nation.
Occasionally, however, the world of satire and reality clash in unpredictable ways. In the wild frontier of 2020, anything and everything is possible.
So it was that our compatriots at the Bee found themselves slapped with a fAcT-cHeCk from USA Today on one of their recent articles. What article created enough buzz to warrant such action?
Why, a story about Trump's new moon navy, of course!
USA Today – concerned about the three humans and ten lizardfolk that might believe this story to be true – immediately launched a fact check strike to knock the Bee's story out of orbit. No one gets humor past the fAcT-cHeCkErS, and I mean no one.
"The Trump Twitter Archive shows that the president has made no such announcement of any Space Navy since the water discovery," wrote some unfortunate soul at USA Today. "Trump has also not spoken about a space navy or the moon discovery at any of his recent campaign rallies in Nebraska and Arizona."
What would the human race do without such bastions of truth to rightly divide fact from fiction??? We are not worthy, I say! Not worthy!
"The claim that Trump proposed a Space Navy is FALSE, based on our research," concluded USA Today in a sentence no one would ever need to read.
My goodness. Someone at this major news company was actually paid to conduct research and write this article.
Of course, in the face of blinding truth, the Bee immediately retracted their story.
But just when it seemed this stormy saga was returning to a sea of tranquility, the United States Navy rocketed in to save the day.
In light of this new revelation, the Bee immediately retracted their retraction. The moon navy is back on, baby!
We are still waiting to hear back from the fact-checkers at USA Today. Until then, we'll see you lunar-side!