Today is the day we remember those who fought and died serving our country by reducing the price of a washer and dryer set by 30%. In fact, many things are on sale today in memory of those who froze in Valley Forge, fought at Gettysburg, sat in foxholes, stormed beaches, charged bunkers, glided behind enemy lines, liberated concentration camps, marched across Bataan, suffered in the jungles of Vietnam, flew missions off of air craft carriers, patrolled the seas, rolled across the desert, etc, etc, and did not come home to their family and friends. We salute their sacrifice today, especially. When we look around at the craziness freedom brings, we can at least rest knowing that it's our own unique brand of American craziness and renew again the pledge to protect and defend these United States of America that so many have given their last true measure to preserve.

But other uniquely crazy and mostly peaceful stuff happened this week too! Read on for exclusive headlines that you will only see here on the Bee Forum News, because Bee subscribers see things no one else sees and say things no one else is brave enough to say, for some reason.

Top Headlines of the Week - headlines with the most upvotes by forum members:

• Stubborn Mom Insists Teen Is Not A Senior Until The First Day Of School @kirgol
• Local Woman's Faith In Humanity Revived As Liberal Friends Complain Their College-Aged Sons Are ‘Right Wing' @priehle
• US House Of Representatives Adds Jello Wrestling Thursdays @dontslowtheearth
• Trans Shot Putter Wins After Throwing Female Competitor 32 Feet @showquest
• LDS Church Sends Missionaries To the Vatican @drconservativeprof
• Left Celebrates George Floyd Day With Traditional Meth-Fueled Riots @neohillbilly
• "All I Said Was ‘Happy Anniversary, Here's A Treadmill', Then I'm Here" Says Man To Gabriel @twoplus2ischicken
• Local Teenager Informs His Parents The Family Car Had A ‘Hard Landing' @unclecrumpty
• Ebrahim Raisi Has An Unplanned Come To Jesus Moment @ruthiej714
• Trudeau Promotes New WNBA Franchise ‘Toronto Anti-Zionists' @stankystankowicz
• Nikki Hailey Says She Will Vote For Trump If She Is Selected As VP @thebigfreeze
• Bull Riding Renamed To More Accurate ‘Cowboy Tossing' @aussiemama
• Local Woman Does One Hour Of Photoshop Three Times A Week And Has Already Lost 20 Pounds @mallorymallory
• Baptist News Reports Iranian President Died In A Heckicopter Crash @alola_rychu
• Homeschool Mom Relieved To Not Have To Sit Through Another Awards Program @nicalys
• Brutal Vegan Successor To Iranian Presidency Known As The ‘Peeler Of Tehran' @webidtheefarewell
• Fauci Admits The Unvaxxed Are Still Alive, But Without His Permission @baberahamlincoln

Sometimes, really great headlines don't make it to the top so here are some of my favs:

• Milk Jugs For Men Now Come With Antlers So Husbands Can Find Them In Fridge @drconservativeprof
• Cohen Says His History Of Lying And Thieving Makes Him The Perfect Congressional Candidate @priehle
• Next Step In Trial, Jury Will Be Given Instructions On How To Find Trump Guilty @niceguy79
• Man Gets New Fitbit To Take Failure To The Next Level @anythingelse
• Bragg Explains Jury Must Convict Trump To Find Out What He's Guilty Of @lawprof
• Scientists Now Believe Covid Originated In A Urine-Soaked McDonald's Ball Pit In St. Louis @webidtheefarewell
• IRS Informs 18 Year Olds Their Free Trial Has Ended @baberahamlincoln
• Violence Erupts On Streets Of Chicago Between Rival Cicada Broods XIII And XIX @tylermontgomery
• Terminator AI So Advanced They Can Now Hold A 5-Hour Conversation About Star Wars @alola_rychu
• After He and His Friends Sit Silently With Job For 7 Days, Bildad Wonders If This Meeting Could Have Been Done Over Email @leecory

@BONUS - One randomly selected headline:

• Trump To Play Nehemiah In Old Testament TV Adaptation @optimus_bardlederp

Do you have breaking news to report? Join us! Who knows, your headline might get published or featured on the Babylon Bee homepage, or it could show up here in our re-cap of the top headlines of the week. Thousands more totally true headlines were posted this week on the forum, but sadly, only Bee subscribers can read them. You did get to read a few, though, so if you have a favorite, please let us know in the comments!

Cover photoshop by subscriber @Disidente_Redactico

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