Last week saw an unprecedented escalation of hostilities in the Middle East as in retaliation for the bombing of Iran's nuclear bomb facilities, Iran threatened to build a roundabout in the Straits of Hormuz. In response, President Trump threatened to drop a San Francisco pride parade on Tehran. Khamenei and Trump then both claimed victory, averting a further crisis. But that's not all that happened this past week!
Read on for exclusive headlines you will only see here on the Bee Forum News, because Bee subscribers see things no one else sees and say things no one else is brave enough to say, for some reason. (Title Headline by @neohillbilly.)
Top Headlines of the Week - headlines with the most upvotes by forum members:
All Items Half Off At Mohammed's Nuclear Surplus Emporium @gfanson
Democrats Upset Trump Ends War Before They Could Add Iranian Flag To Their Facebook Profile @dontslowtheearth
Jeff Bezos Bets Half His Wealth In Risky Venture @thebigfreeze
Literally Hitler Polling At Nearly 100% Favorability In Israel @slateslabrock
Wife's Car Suffering From Emotionally Deflated Tire Again @kirgol
Studies Show That News Cycles Have Now Dropped To 2 Minutes @annafillaxis
Maxine Waters To Reprise The Role Of Aunt Esther In The Much Anticipated Remake Of Sanford And Son @njhokie84
Wife Totally Unimpressed With Husband's Knowledge Of The Range And Payload Of A TBF Avenger @drconservativeprof
Man Assures Wife She'll Barely Even Notice The B2 Bomber If It's Parked Behind The Garage @alola-rychu
Obama Mocks Trump For Actually Doing Something To Earn Nobel Peace Prize Nomination @ruthiej714
Cuomo Promises To Kill More Old People If Elected Mayor @eversong
Man Tells Woman Looking At His Wallet That His Eyes Are Up Here @baberahanlincoln
Weird: Woman With Cat Allergy Starts Sneezing Uncontrollably After Ordering Chinese Takeout @batknight
Sometimes, really great headlines don't make it to the top so here are some of my favorites:
Federal Judge Orders Trump To Put $100 Million In The Swear Jar @johnisadoc
Trump Clarifies Israel Has Ceasefire On Even Days, Iran Odd Days @skullcrazes
Girl Makes "No Sandwich Making Until Marriage" Rule To Stay Pure With Boyfriend @rmill95
NY Democrats Hopeful Communism Will Actually Work If Combined With Intifada @westminsterabs
AI Chat Bot Now Most Reliable Friend @nicalys
Iran Threatens To Build A Roundabout In The Straits Of Hormuz @neohillbilly
Baptist VBS Volunteer Reconsidering Conviction On Strong Drink @lpathehuman
Grounded Homeschool Kid Not Allowed To Watch Any Kirk Cameron Movies For Two Full Weeks @fishythepenguin
BONUS - One randomly selected headline:
Do you have breaking news to report? Join us! Who knows, your headline might get published or featured on the Babylon Bee homepage, or it could show up here in our re-cap of the top headlines of the week. Thousands more totally true headlines were posted this week on the forum, but sadly, only Bee subscribers can read them. You did get to read a few, though, so if you have a favorite, please let us know in the comments!
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