After three years of Festivus-style Jan 6 celebrations, the mood has shifted to a more cheerful vibe. As the day approached, people put up lights and MAGA inflatables in anticipation of Trump coming down chimneys across the country to hand out gifts as soon as Kamala Harris finished certifying the election. A little girl in Whoville has reportedly even brought the true Jan 6 spirit to a sullen Jim Carey, causing him to smile and celebrate in anticipation of a better economy and less crime. But that's not all that happened last week...

Read on for exclusive headlines you will only see here on the Bee Forum News, because Bee subscribers see things no one else sees and say things no one else is brave enough to say, for some reason.

Top Headlines of the Week - headlines with the most upvotes by forum members:

• FBI Believes Terrorist Attack Could Have Been Avoided With A Simple COEXIST Bumper Sticker @dontslowtheearth

• Michigan To Replace Forest Habitats With Solar Panels To Help Save Forest Habitats @thebigfreeze

• Presidential Medal Of Freedom Not Feeling So Special Anymore @kirgol

• Biden Gives Out Presidential Medals Of Freedom To Heads Of Galactic Empire @twoplus2ischicken

• Secret Service Keeps Poking Biden With A Stick To See If He's Alive @drconservativeprof

• Biden Mistakenly Awards His Life Alert Pendant At Solemn Medal Of Freedom Ceremony At The White House @njhokie84

• Biden To Sell Off Nation's Strategic Spray Tan Reserves Ahead Of Trump's Second Term @fishythepenguin

• Biden Announces If You Act Now, He'll Include A Presidential Medal Of Freedom With Every Pardon Purchased @priehle

• Wise Husband Knows If Wife Seems Nonchalant About Needing His Help, She Is Probably Full Of Chalant @ruthiej714

• Every Biden Presidential Medal Comes With 1 Free Month Of Paramount+ @alola_rychu

• Local Daughter Doesn't Want To Know Calorie Count For Her Favorite Drink @littlejedi

• AOC Awarded Posthumous Presidential Medal Of Freedom @bobster

• Biden Awards Rapunzel Presidential Medal Of Freedom, Ceremony Delayed By Over An Hour While He Finishes Sniffing Her Hair @coachjoeconway

• Jimmy Carter Passes On Sunday, Experts Say It Could Have Been A Lot Worse If He Wasn't Vaxxed @slateslabrock

• Mike Johnson Sentenced To Be Speaker Of The House @neohillbilly

Sometimes, really great headlines don't make it to the top so here are some of my favorites:

• Local Man Takes Bite of Kale To Offset Week Of Binge Eating @drconservativeprof

• Mystery Solved: Biden's Autopen Signature Machine Became Sentient In 2021 And Has Been Running The Country Ever Since @neohillbilly

• Hochul To Put ‘Knife-Free Zone' Signs In Subway Stations @priehle

• Democrats Warn Against Rising Truckphobia @alola_rychu

• Man Spikes Wife's Drink With Chamomile Tea To Watch Football In Peace @tylermontgomery

• Teen Patiently Explains If You Divide His Speed By 2, He Never Would've Gotten A Ticket In The First Place @kirgol

• Scientists Believe Thousands Of Hair Care Products In Bathroom Shower Evolved From First Single Celled Conditioner @davel

• Tanker Trucks Of Wine Head To DC To Assist Kamala In Certifying Election Results @emotnlsupportpython

BONUS - One randomly selected headline:

• Middle-Aged Childless Man Eases Mom's Mind By Pointing Out Noah Was 500 Years Old Before He Started Having Kids @leecory

Do you have breaking news to report? Join us! Who knows, your headline might get published or featured on the Babylon Bee homepage, or it could show up here in our re-cap of the top headlines of the week. Thousands more totally true headlines were posted this week on the forum, but sadly, only Bee subscribers can read them. You did get to read a few, though, so if you have a favorite, please let us know in the comments!

Cover photoshop by subscriber @Disidente_Redactico

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