MTG, AOC and some other congresswoman gave our friends across the pond a run for their money in debate prowess this week. Americans have long envied the raw brutality of debate in British Parliament, but now we can walk with our heads held high after the esteemed congresswomen in the U.S. House of Representatives showed those Brits we have what it takes to sling mud with wild abandon while pretending to govern in the Colonies as well. The congressmen sat in stunned admiration, fearing they would never again get in a word edgewise in Congress. In other news, 5 people showed up to hear Biden speak in Detriot, a new record, while only 100,000 attend a Trump rally in New Jersey, when they had expected 100,010. And, to top off the week, our most popular President ever and most popular former President ever have agreed to two debates that will feature a halftime show cage match between AOC and MTG.
But other mostly peaceful stuff happened this week too! Read on for exclusive headlines that you will only see here on the Bee Forum News, because Bee subscribers see things no one else sees and say things no one else is brave enough to say, for some reason.
Top Headlines of the Week - headlines with the most upvotes by forum members:
- Minnesota Changes Name To West Somalia @drconservativeprof
- Snopes Now Admits It's ‘True' That Hunter Biden Owned A Laptop @hamnetwall55
- US House Of Representatives Adds Jello Wrestling Thursdays @dontslowtheearth
- WHO Scrambles To Sign Global Treaty Before They Release Next Pandemic @realmccoy
- AOC And MTG No Longer Sitting Together In House Cafeteria @showquest
- "This Kale Is Delicious" Says Man Born Without Taste Buds @twoplus2ischicken
- Teen Rents U-Haul To Clean Out School Locker @kirgol
- Local Man Looking For Sponsors For 0.005K Run To Raise Awareness For Laziness @thecatman
- Report: You Can Only Assault A Police Officer If You Are BLM, Not PGA @neohillbilly
- Trump Agrees To Debate Biden While CNN Moderator Whacks Him With A Folding Chair @disidente_redactico
- Woman With Large Thumbs Fears She Sent The Wrong Message @priehle
- Rumor That Biden Will Debate Trump Makes Red Bull Stock Price Soar @babylonandonanon
- Wife Prosecutes Husband For Falsifying Grocery Records To Hide Saw Purchase @webidtheefarewell
- Upgraded Smoke Detector Equipped To Signal ‘This Battery Is Also Dead' Just When You Put Away The Ladder @anythingelse
- Substitute Teacher On The Run After Allegedly Beginning Class With The Pledge Of Allegiance @m5studios
- Funeral Times Magazine Names Joe Biden ‘Deadest Man Alive' @ruthiej714
Sometimes, really great headlines don't make it to the top so here are some of my favs:
- Woman Who Wanted To Start A True Crime Podcast Thrilled To Discover Her Husband Is A Serial Killer @strykeengineer
- Women Shift Hard Right After Discovering Climate Scientists Are Trying To Turn Down The Earth's Thermostat @jswag
- Hamas Hires Michael Cohen To Negotiate Cease Fire Deal @thyseattle
- Dementia Patient From Local Nursing Home To Serve As Biden's Stand-In During Trump's Debate Prep @philvanklinken
- Father Plays Laugh Track With Jokes So Family Knows When, And For How Long To Laugh @slayinggiants
- Trad Wives Distance Themselves From The NFL @drconservativeprof
- The US House To Be Renamed The US Waffle House @johnisadoc
- PGA Golfers Torch Clubhouse In 'Night Of Rage' Over Police Brutality @eversong
- NFL Leadership Admits To Being Drunk On Bud Light Before Releasing 'Regrettable' Statement Bashing Placekicker Butker @mdmathis6
- Sports Illustrated Uses Hubble Telescope For Photo Shoot Of Your Mom @dontslowtheearth
@BONUS - One randomly selected headline:
- Columbia Student Who Tore Up Diploma Repeats Process When Handed SkinnyLicious Menu At Cheesecake Factory @muskymarlin
Do you have breaking news to report? Join us! Who knows, your headline might get published or featured on the Babylon Bee homepage, or it could show up here in our re-cap of the top headlines of the week. Thousands more totally true headlines were posted this week on the forum, but sadly, only Bee subscribers can read them. You did get to read a few, though, so if you have a favorite, please let us know in the comments!
Cover photoshop by subscriber @Disidente_Redactico
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