Peanut The White has appeared on Election Day atop the Statue of Liberty wearing a MAGA hat and waving a flag inscribed with the words "Fight, Fight, Fight!" Peanut, the internet famous squirrel, was rescued from his home by authorities last week and safely assisted into the afterlife. However, after a brief few days absence from this earth, he has returned bearing Trump's battle cry to lead the charge of voters to the polls to peacefully and patriotically vote for a return to sanity in government. So, for Peanut, for democracy, for free speech, for female athletes, etc... Don't Forget To Vote!!!
But that's not all that happened last week!
Read on for exclusive headlines you will only see here on the Bee Forum News, because Bee subscribers see things no one else sees and say things no one else is brave enough to say, for some reason. (Headlines are now clickable!)
Top Headlines of the Week - headlines with the most upvotes by forum members:
‘Half The Country Trying To Destroy The Country,' Says Entire Country @showquest
Dad Refuses To Give Candy To Ghosts Claiming He Can't See Them @dontslowtheearth
5-Year-Old Picks Fairy Tale Of Undecided Voter For Bedtime Story Again @kirgol
Baby Bites Biden Back @twoplus2ischicken
Biden's Computer And Phone Privileges Taken Away @thebigfreeze
Affluent Liberal Women Condemn Girl's Witch Costume For Appropriating Their Culture @stankystankowicz
Rogan Offers All The Wine She Can Drink In Last Ditch Appeal To Get Kamala On His Show @priehle
Achy Old Guy: 50 Was When Advil Stopped Being Medicine And Became A Food Group @babylonandonanon
Last Leaf On Tree Watches Closely As You Put The Blower Away @conservativeprof
Bidenomics So Bad Trump Drives Trash Truck After Pulling Shift At McDonalds @ruthiej714
Rookie Public Speaker Forgets To Say 'Great Question' About Every Audience Question @mjja
Sometimes, really great headlines don't make it to the top so here are some of my favs:
Newly Raised Lazarus Informed By Poll Worker He's Already Voted @leecory
Adolph Hitler Demoted To Figuratively Hitler @babybeebabyboomb4lui
Trump To Work Shift At Chick-fil- A In Closing Bid To Secure Evangelical Vote @jbinct
Babies Bitten By Biden Vaccinated For Dementia @penguinlover
US Wins World Series For 121st Year In A Row @ruthiej714
October's +120,000 Jobs Report Revised Downward To 42 @mrhugs
Historians Discover 1939 Photo Of Hitler Addressing Rally In Garbage Man Vest @disidente_redactico
Man Turns Into 40-Year-Old White Woman After Taking Sip Of Pumpkin Spice Latte @kirgol
@BONUS - One randomly selected headline:
Do you have breaking news to report? Join us! Who knows, your headline might get published or featured on the Babylon Bee homepage, or it could show up here in our re-cap of the top headlines of the week. Thousands more totally true headlines were posted this week on the forum, but sadly, only Bee subscribers can read them. You did get to read a few, though, so if you have a favorite, please let us know in the comments!
Cover photoshop by subscriber @Disidente_Redactico
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