There's only one possible explanation for this story right here:
Drugs. Drugs are the explanation.
And kids, you don't want to end up like this guy, do you? So I suggest you just go ahead and say no to drugs, like every time. Or someday this may be your story.
Police said homeless Terry Lewis picked on churches, charity shops and other businesses as he went on a three-month burglary spree across Cambridge.
But the 46-year-old addict, who often left the scene without actually stealing anything, managed to make life easier for police by leaving a trail of clues behind.
They said these included his birth certificate, DNA, footprints, prison ID cards and plenty of CCTV images.
Bro, you left behind your birth certificate?
I don't even know where my birth certificate is…
Seriously kids, don't do drugs.
He managed to take a church collection box and £25. He also attempted to break into the British Heart Foundation in East Road.
In September, Lewis stole £330 in cash and approximately £5,000 in jewellery from North London Hospice in High Street, Barnet.
Lewis, of no fixed address, appeared at Huntingdon Law Courts where he was sentenced to a year in prison after admitting five counts of burglary and one attempted burglary.
He also admitted a further nine burglaries which were taken into consideration.
PC Ryan Parker said: "Lewis is a prolific, opportunist burglar stealing to support his addiction whilst living homeless in the city.
I wonder how many burglaries Lewis has committed of which he has no recollection.
I bet it's a lot more than the nine he admitted to.
Okay, do I have to say it again?
Didn't think so.