Guys, this is real.

This is a real person — a genderqueer shapeshifting witch — who was hired by a school district in Colorado to train staff.

And look, I don't even have to explain to you who this person is that the Thompson School District hired to train staff on transgender issues. The human themself explains on they/them's website:

Silen Charlie Wellington (they/them)* is a sculptor of sound, artist of people, witch, genderqueer shapeshifter, mercurial story collector, and lover, among other things. Avidly interdisciplinary, they like to combine music with other art mediums, be that spoken word, visual art, ritual performance, loud and fiery eye contact, otherworldly and melting trysts, or something else entirely.

Yup, real. Check the website, I linked to it. (More on that asterisk below.)

Here are some photos of Mx. Wellington to give you a better idea of who they/them is and what a genderqueer shapeshifter looks like in the wild:

Look, I'm not outing zer or anything, these are all on zis Instagram.

More from the story:

A school district in Colorado hired a self-proclaimed "genderqueer shapeshifter" and "witch" to conduct staff training on "transgender" issues.

According to a Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) request from Parents Defending Education (PDE), the Thompson School District hired Silen Wellington, a "transgender" activist, to conduct the training…

"This training includes information about different identities, the importance of language, and how to be a better ally," the agenda for the training states. "If you're curious about LGBTQ+ topics, have some questions that you've always wanted to ask, or wish to learn what all the letters mean, this training is for you."

Language and statistics on "LGBTQ+ youth suicidality" were on the agenda, as well as "ways to be inclusive of non-heterosexual orientations."

The training would also cover "sex assigned at birth vs. gender identity vs. gender expression" and "defining words such as: dysphoria, dead name, transitioning, intersex, asexual, aromatic, Two-Spirit, queer, nonbinary," as well as something called "neopronouns."

I defy you to show me a sane person who wants their kid learning any of that stuff in school, especially when there's a genderqueer shapeshifting witch leading the sensitivity training.

Little side note here for our genderqueer shapeshifting witch, since I felt like writing "genderqueer shapeshifting witch" again:

*(they/them): Silen does sometimes use he/him pronouns but 98% of the time prefers to be referred to as "they" in writing. Silen is pronounced like "silent" without a t.

Very interesting stuff. Make SURE you don't mess it up when xe's in that 2% window when sie wants to be referred to as "him." GOT IT?!?!

Glad we're pushing these genderqueer ideas through our school system.

I bet it's gonna turn out just dandy.