Guys! What happened to Mike Lee's hair???
So I was doing my job, hunting for breaking news on Twitter because, as we all know, this is the site everyone goes to for hard-hitting analysis, and I saw that Riley Gaines posted a video of Utah Senator Mike Lee so I thought I'd check it out.
I have no idea what he was talking about because all I could see was his new shiny bald head!
Where did his hair go? I know, Lee didn't have this magnificent mane of hair before, but it was always short, well-kept, and just nice-looking. Now, all of a sudden, it's just gone!
For reference, this is the Mike Lee we're used to:
I don't want to be shallow but ...
So ... what happened?
I've got some theories...
First off, Mike Lee is one of the most bald - BOLD! I mean bold! - and patriotic Americans in Washington DC. So it's entirely possible that he went with the new style as an homage to America's most iconic symbol.
It wouldn't be surprising if this was Lee's way of honoring this great country.
Or, while Mike Lee is usually based, maybe this is his way of reaching out to the Left: Maybe he is showing his support for hair justice by ditching all of his own hair.
What better way to show you don't discriminate based on hair than getting rid of it?
Liberty and hair justice for all!
More likely, maybe the GOP just needed a bit of good luck in the senate and he just drew the short straw to shave his dome.
A tremendous sacrifice for the good of the country.
Or, maybe, Lee knows something we don't know. Maybe he shaved his head to fulfill an oath like the Apostle Paul.
Have the national security people found a way to implant spy bugs in our hair?? They already got to the birds, after all!!
Or maybe there's something in the shampoo that's washing more than your hair! I'm talking brainwashing, people! Lee may just be taking precautions against a deep-state scheme to turn everyone into mindless Democrat zombies.
Of course, there's always the chance that Mike went to Great Clips and like so many others walked away with the worst haircut of all time and just ended up shaving it to somehow save face.
All thin-haired men know this is a very real risk we all face whenever we go to a cheap barber.
Apparently, Lee has been rocking this hairstyle for like a month and I didn't know it. He posted this video about his bald head on Bald is Beautiful Day last month:
I still need to know why Lee shaved his head. Senator, if you are reading this, please tell us.
Until then, I think there's more that's going on here than meets the eye...
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