CNN photoshops Redskins logo off hat in old photo of Biden and son

Sep 9th, 2020 12:49 pm

In a noble quest to further halt Orange Man Bad's march toward a second term, the thought police over at CNN have photoshopped a photo of Biden and his son, removing the Washington Redskins logo from the child's hat.

The Redskins (now creatively known as the "Washington Football Team"), have been embroiled by controversy in recent years, with some calling its name offensive to Native Americans.

A normal person would shake their heads at the inane display of political correctness imbued in such an act. Why would a company spend manpower and resources to doctor a photo in such a way? No one could possibly get offended over a historic photo portraying a team logo that existed just five minutes ago, right??

To understand the insanity, one must first understand the religion of Wokism. Adherents to this mystic faith, known as "Wokies" (not to be confused with the kinder, gentler "Wookies"), offer sacrifices of privilege and oppression at the altar of their god, the Woke Monster. The more they admit their guilt, highlight their victimhood, and vilify their foes, the more standing they are given in the eyes of the Monster's prophets.

(How to differentiate Wokies from Wookies: note that Wookies have a full, lush mane, compared to the simple neckbeard of the Wokie.)

The problem is, the Woke Monster is never satisfied. Its hunger only grows with each victim it consumes. One must constantly bend over backward to ensure no offense is made, lest the Monster choose them as its next victim.

(A picture of the Woke Monster, probably)

In this case, as of #TheCurrentYear, the Washington Redskins team is now anathema. Anyone who dares to use the imagery of the Redskins (presumably even the Native Blackfeet tribe that has expressed sadness at white people taking away the team name they loved) must be excommunicated from the Woke Church and devoured by its god.

When one understands this context, it is possible to see why the acolytes at CNN would scramble to ensure there was no possible way to link Biden with something that would get him #Canceled. Every record must be falsified, every picture repainted, and every offensive thing renamed. The process must continue day by day and minute by minute. History has stopped. Nothing exists except an endless present in which the Woke Monster is always right.


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