Three detention workers in Oklahoma have been charged with misdemeanor cruelty after forcing inmates to listen to the viral children's song "Baby Shark" on loop at loud volume.
There are many forms of torture that can test a man. We've all seen the spy movies where someone is subjected to a cruel form of "enhanced" interrogation. James Bond is particularly famous for being tortured in extraordinarily creative ways (before escaping through the wonders of Deus Ex Machina, of course).
(I expect you to die, Mr. Bond!)
The cruelty of these ex-jail employees, however, reaches new heights of human depravity. "Baby Shark" is a source of endless misery – an earworm from which there is no reprieve. The 2016 song is currently sitting at over 6.7 billion views, and continues to find its ways into our nightmares in new ways. As a parent of three children, I am doomed to hear the song at least once a week until the sweet release of death, but I have full confidence that the Lord Almighty has banned the song from both the heavens and the new creation to come. Maranatha, Lord Jesus!
Apparently, in late 2019, the two 21-year-old employees and their 50-year old supervisor at the Oklahoma County jail chained inmates to the wall and subjected them to hours of the 2-minute song at loud volumes.
Even the district attorney in the case had difficulty pinning specific charges for this new level of diabolical criminality.
"It was unfortunate that I could not find a felony statute to fit this fact scenario," said District Attorney David Prater. "I would have preferred filing a felony on this behavior."
Prater also said that the state legislature should discuss changing the law to bring more serious charges for this type of crime. In this case, I would wholeheartedly agree.
During an initial investigation by Sheriff P.D. Taylor, the two younger employees resigned and their supervisor retired.
"We don't tolerate it," said Taylor of the cruel treatment of inmates. "We always did an excellent job policing ourselves."
I'm always glad to see good men stand up against evil. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go bash my head against a wall for three hours to get this song out of my brain.