This really isn't Disney's year, folks.
We've all watched uncomfortably as Disney launched its obscenely expensive Star Wars-themed hotel—the "Galactic Starcruisers"—that lets people drop $5,000 on a two-night extended cosplay routine.
We've continued to watch uncomfortably as Disney has struggled to fill up the rooms at this boondoggle. That's no mean feat. Star Wars groupies are possibly the most fanatically dedicated fanbase in the history of human civilization. They should be beating down the door for this thing. And yet they're...not.
And now—in a sign of what could only charitably be called complete and total desperation—it looks like Disney is stooping to truly pathetic levels to try and drum up interest in this deadweight attraction:
[W]hen it comes in-world events, I asked if something like Life Day could its way into seasonal stories aboard the Starcruiser. Lee revealed to us, "I think we're going to start to see things happening organically as we begin to get closer to Life Day, and people playing hard into that, that we're going to have the opportunity and our performers are going to have the opportunity to react to and kind of pick up on more and inject all of that into their storytelling. And then, of course, looking at opportunities down the line for formal events and what of those potential possibilities might come into play."
Now right about now you're surely asking yourself: "What is 'Life Day'?"
Friends, "Life Day" is nothing more or less than the central plot point of The Star Wars Holiday Special, a film which holds the distinction of being the absolute, bar-none, pedal-to-the-metal worst Star Wars movie ever made.
Worse even than The Rise of Skywalker! Yes, it's that bad.
Reams of ink have been spilled analyzing and criticizing this famously bad movie. Esquire referred to it as a "brilliant disaster" and a "famously bad TV event." If you have a jumbo-sized bottle of Maalox and 90 minutes to kill, you can see it here for yourself:
Parse it for yourself if you've got the time, but trust me, it's full of gems. Where else do you get to see Han Solo have an emotional, intimate heart-to-heart with Chewbacca's parents?
If Disney is tapping the reserves this deep, you know it's not good. Book your stay at the hotel now before they shutter it. Or just punch yourself in the face a few times, either way!
P.S. Now check out our latest video: "Highlights from Biden's speech last night" 👇