If you wish to voluntarily kick the bucket and shuffle off this mortal coil, the Germany's euthanasia association would like you to prepare for the afterlife by getting vaxxed.
Euthanasia is an extremely sad subject, and it's even sadder to see (mostly Western) governments legalize it as our world increasingly devalues human life and denies the existence of a righteous God in heaven.
But for those who believe this life is all there is and that we should be free to leave it when and how we please – even this level of procedural red tape is beyond parody.
Irony has been declared many times in this pandemic but now, from Covid-riddled Germany comes the final proof: you can't kill yourself now unless you've been vaccinated. As European countries battle to limit the spread of the virus, Verein Sterbehilfe – the German Euthanasia Association – has issued a new directive, declaring it will now only help those who have been vaccinated or recovered from the disease. In a statement, the association said:
"Euthanasia and the preparatory examination of the voluntary responsibility of our members willing to die require human closeness. Human closeness, however, is a prerequisite and breeding ground for coronavirus transmission. As of today, the 2G rule applies in our association, supplemented by situation-related measures, such as quick tests before encounters in closed rooms."
'Close encounters in closed rooms' – what a fabulous German euphemism for assisted suicide. The term '2G' meanwhile refers to a system which only allows free movement for leisure activities for the geimpft oder genese— 'vaccinated or recovered.' God forbid that a person without the jab should try to end it all – talk about a vaccine passport to the afterlife...
There's a silver lining here in this elephant-sized pile of steaming-hot irony. Such a ridiculous bureaucratic mandate will likely deter at least a few people from considering assisted suicide!