Let's just be honest: Geese are kind of frightening. They're pretty big, they're strong, they're perpetually mad about something, and they don't shy away from a fight.
Apparently goose attacks are so common in Ohio that the state government has published an information guide to help you if you find yourself on the receiving end of a mad goose:
That's an intense picture. I gotta know: Was that staged? If so, how'd they do it? But I digress:
The Ohio Division of Wildlife has documented goose attacks on humans that have caused serious physical injury, such as broken bones and head injuries, and emotional distress. Many of these inju- ries have occurred when the person tried to avoid an attack and tripped over an object (e.g., stairs, curbs, etc.).
In an intense situation like that...you got to keep your footing.
So what do you do if one of these birds comes after you?
An encounter with an aggressive goose can usually be resolved if you maintain direct eye contact while facing your body directly towards the attacking goose. Never turn your back or shoulders away from the hostile goose, and never close or squint your eyes or block your eyes with a purse or briefcase. If the goose makes an aggressive move towards you while hissing or spreading out its wings, you should slowly back away while using your peripheral vision to watch for obstacles you could trip over. Maintain a neutral demeanor toward the goose (i.e., do not yell, swing, kick, or act hostile). At the same time, do not cower, hide your face, turn your back, or run from the goose.
What we all picture when we imagine squaring off with a mad wild animal:
What you're actually supposed to do:
