If you've ever perused Facebook Marketplace or Craigslist, you've probably seen some rather sketchy-looking offerings. If you're anything like me, that's one of the main reasons you peruse Facebook Marketplace (that, and determining the going rate for my collection of off-brand LEGO sets).

Well, thank your lucky stars because I've compiled several highlights for your viewing pleasure right here:

Candy corn epoxy mini table - $125

Look, I don't understand why candy corn gets such a bad rap. Sure, it tastes like you're eating a candle... but it's a candle with SUGAR!

Beyond that, you might be thinking: Why on earth would anyone want this??

Well, I'm glad you asked.

Candy corn is associated with Halloween. Halloween is all about being as scary as possible. And what could be scarier than the most-hated seasonal candy being transformed into a poorly-constructed peace of useless furniture?

Well, to be honest? Probably this next item...

Handcrafted bubble barcart - $335

So.

Many.

Questions.

This seems like the work of someone who puked up a bunch of marshmallows all over their furniture and then said, "Look! I made art!"

But in case you were thinking you could haggle with this artist, please note that the price is non-negotiable:

Ummm... wait, what's this again?

Yeeeah, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say the price is at least a little bit negotiable.

Then again, the seller references the fact that the style was apparently made popular by Instagram design influencer Gustaf Westman. So apparently there is a market for this kind of thing.

Keep that in mind next time your'e about to barf all over your furniture: This could be the moment of inspiration!

Table - $30

To be honest, I was ready to go on a long rant about how nasty this presentation is. But after that last one... Who am I to judge what is or is not art?

Another theory is that this is a subtle dog whistle to let you know that this individual is a purveyor of methamphetamines. And by "dog whistle," I mean fog horn.

KFC bucket - $2,000

I'd love to hear the conversation around purchasing an item like this:

"Look, honey... I know it's a bit pricey, and we'd have to move all the furniture out of our living room... but think about what a great conversation starter this would be!"

Or, more likely:

"Bruh, I was drunk-browsing Facebook Marketplace last night, and I got real hungry for like a bucket of fried chicken or something. And the next thing I knew all our rent money was gone... but check out what I got!"

Walmart vest - $80

This is totally going to end well. I can't foresee anything about this not going super well.

Animal/reptile cage with lights - $75

Sure. The cat ate the hamster.

...After you cooked it with those fling-flanging HEAT LAMPS!

Concrete slab - $500

Oof. You know, out of all the accidentally-free items you could win, having your backyard decimated by a large slab of concrete is not on the top of my list.

And then there's that price tag. Bro, if I'm gonna tow away a huge piece of unwanted dead weight like that, you'd better be paying me at least that much!

Flash lights - $10

Unfortunately, this guy had to take down the ad after people kept asking him specifically which neighborhood, and requesting more pictures... of his wife. 😬

These selections were thanks to the efforts of Facebook groups likes Sad Sales, Stolen Goods and Sketchy Services, proving once again that the only thing the internet can do better than provide sketchy content is to serve it up on a crowd-sourced platter.