Here's what happened:
Florida:
We'll start in America's new greatest state. Governor Ron DeSantis and Senator Marco Rubio easily crushed their competition... and I mean, CRUSHED.
Remember that Ron DeSantis only won by 30,000 votes in 2018 against a man who was later found with drugs and a male prostitute and has been indicted on fraud charges!
What Florida almost got:
What Florida actually got:
Dodged the world's biggest bullet there!
Texas:
Since we're rolling on with the greatest states, Beto lost his third bid to have any relevancy in politics last night as Gov. Greg Abbott was reelected.
Beto has now spent $200 million running for Senate, president, and governor, but despite heavy media promotion and running on the cover of Vanity Fair, he's absolutely failed at everything.
I'll post this here again for the cringe factor:
Georgia:
Not to be outdone, President of United Earth Stacey Abrams was absolutely starched by incumbent Gov. Brian Kemp.
I look forward to Stacey denying the election results for the next 4 years, but at least she'll always have that Star Trek cameo as queen of the universe despite literally doing nothing except lose at everything in real life.
Unfortunately, the fate of the Senate might come down to a run-off election next month between actual communist Rafael Warnock and Herschel Walker, since neither got 50% of the vote.
Ohio:
GOP candidate J.D. Vance will become Ohio's newest senator, ousting career politician Tim Ryan in their race.
Utah:
Sen. Mike Lee won his reelection bid handily in an election where the Dems decided to back an independent to try to swing the vote.
Michigan:
Now we move to the sad states.
For some reason unknown to the rest of mankind, Ice Queen Gretch was somehow reelected with 54% of the vote.
Michiganders saw the economic devastation of lockdowns over the last two years and decided they wanted more of that.
They also flipped their legislature blue for the first time in 4 decades, voted to enshrine abortion in law, and laid the groundwork for the State to take away parental rights so the schools can trans the kids. God help 'em.
Yup, Michigan forgot.
How embarrassing! Enjoy finding out what such things lead to, Michigan.
New York:
Likewise, New York decided it wanted to double down on crime, drugs, and authoritarianism by electing Kathy Hochul for governor. Enjoy your descent into irrelevance and waste, New York.
GOP candidate Lee Zeldin is refusing to concede in a last-ditch effort to keep New York from becoming a third-world country.
Arizona:
Because Maricopa County can't figure out how to work printer software in 2022, they had widespread tabulator outages yesterday. The state itself says it might take until FRIDAY to figure out who won the gubernatorial race, but it isn't looking good for Trump-picked Kari Lake.
Meanwhile, Dem candidate Katie Hobbs literally participated in no debates and barely made TV appearances, but she's slated to win. What a time to be alive.
The race itself is too close to call. If only delayed counting ever worked in Republicans' favor!
Pennsylvania:
Even more stunning than New York and Michigan was Pennsylvania, which looked at the staggering crime and drug problems in Philly and said, "Hey, let's literally send a stroke victim to be our next senator."
A man who has never held a real job and lived off his parents' money until he was 50 – who once held a black man at gunpoint and can't string two words together because his brain is broken – beat a Trump-backed celebrity with international name recognition and decades of TV fame.
I'm just gonna let you ponder that.
Congress:
Right now, it looks as if the Dems might keep the Senate, but the House will likely be taken by the GOP.
If the GOP takes at least one house of Congress, Biden will be unable to ram through far-left legislation (unless the GOP goes soft, which, well, they do).
I'd say I'm hoping for a 2024 win, but even Ron DeSantis can't stop the spiral this nation is on. The American people want totalitarian, rule-by-mob leaders, and the bureaucracy is willing to support whoever feeds it the most.
Unless Republicans actually figure out a convincing message to kick people out of the cultish thinking that's now become the norm, I think it's likely that America will simply be like socialist Europe in a matter of years.
