America has historically been the land of opportunity. So it's really encouraging to see the cream still rising to the top like this:
Hillary Rodham Clinton, the former U.S. Secretary of State, will join Columbia University as professor of practice at the School of International and Public Affairs (SIPA) and presidential fellow at Columbia World Projects (CWP). ...
"I am honored to join Columbia University, and the School of International and Public Affairs and Columbia World Projects," said Clinton. "Columbia's commitment to educating the next generation of U.S. and global policy leaders, translating insights into impact, and helping to address some of the world's most pressing challenges resonates personally with me. I look forward to contributing to these efforts."
That's right: Hillary is going Ivy League! Surely I can think of no environment better-suited to Hillary Rodham Clinton than present-day American higher education.
Because it's probably been a while since Hillary has been inside a classroom, or indeed any non-country club building outside of Chappaqua, we thought we'd compile a list of courses she should consider offering in order to appeal to today's modern university student:
Material Applications of Baskets and Deplorable Storage 201
Every student in today's competitive economy needs to know what to do with deplorables. We can't expect to succeed in the 21st century global economy without our workers mastering proper basket/deplorable maintenance.
Survey of Historical Election Losses to Television Show Hosts
Hillary remains just one of two living Americans who have lost a U.S. presidential election to a guy who used to have a show on network television (Jimmy Carter, who is still kicking at roughly 250 years old, lost the 1980 election to former NBC host Ronald Reagan).
U.S. Macro Policy on Differences and What They Make
Yes, the swoopy hand gestures will be on the final exam.
Modern Balloon Play in the Context of Political Engagement
This course will count towards the major!
