Okay, what are we doing here, folks?
Like, seriously…
"Disney's hottest animated animal characters, ranked" is seriously something only 2023 can bring us. Like, we're already living within the pride before the fall, so this is pretty par for the course for our modern times right here.
I'll show you at least one paragraph from the article, but you go right on ahead and click that link up there if you want the full shebang.
In an online interview, Sex and Sexuality in Modern Screen Remakes author Dr. Lauren Rosewarne explains why people get so thirsty for Disney animals: "When a character that is putatively an animal speaks with a sexy voice and human physical elements (curved hips/cleavage/biceps etc), the producer is presenting a sexualised animal to the audience — none of this is an accident," she said. "For some audiences, this presentation won't be particularly meaningful, in others it's vaguely attractive, and for others […] the display will be distinctly arousing. Producers know this and cash in on it."
So it's perfectly logical that Disney animals play a big part in kids' early sexual development. With that in mind, let us take a journey through the hottest animals in the Disney kingdom.
"Disney animals play a big part in kids' early sexual development."
Honestly, not something I wanted to read, first off as a nineties kid, and second, as someone whose kids watch cartoon films all the time.
Like, is this really what we're getting ourselves into when we press play on these films?
Cuz that's just kinda gross.
Okay, we're here for this Polygon (whatever that is) article, so I'll quote one of their character descriptions for you as well, but then I promise I'm gone.
I'll go with Nala from The Lion King, who filled the list's #7 spot:
With her regal presence and sleek looks, Nala is a queen long before she takes a seat next to Simba on the throne. While she's a beautiful lion with golden fur and hypnotic green eyes, Nala is so attractive is her feminine strength and confidence. She isn't afraid to go after what she wants, especially when she tumbles in the grass with Simba and gives him a sexy come-hither look.
I think this is where it ends, folks. Gen Z is our future, and, yeah, it's not looking bright with this borderline bestiality coming out of the woodwork.
If you need me I'll be hitching a ride to Mars.
