Every diminuendo you hear is filled with Ukrainian children crying.
Let's face it, listening to the 1812 Overture is akin to indiscriminately shelling civilian targets, only with more stringed instruments.
What does a long-dead Russian composer and his works have to do with Russia's invasion of Ukraine?
Isn't it obvious?
They're both Russian!
You see, when fomenting war, it's essential we all pitch in and demonize entire ethnic groups.
That's why vandals/freedom fighters are doing their part by destroying property owned by Americans.
The Russian House is owned by someone suspiciously named "Aaron McGovern."
Sure, that might not sound Russian at first glance, but after about 27 glances or so and an equivalent number of vodka shots you start seeing the connection. You also might start seeing leprechauns trying to steal your suspenders, and you don't even own suspenders, but don't worry about that, just remember that we're not going to support dirty Russian commies like Aaron McGovern anymore.
Oh, and did I say vodka?
Yeah, no more Russian vodka either, even Russian vodka that was already paid for and sitting on store shelves.
That's going to sting. Well, Virginia taxpayers, anyway.
Virginia is considered a control state in which ABC is the sole retailer of distilled spirits.
But that's not what's important. What's important is that we feel good about doing something that causes us as little inconvenience as possible.
As CNN points out, the boycotts are largely symbolic as less than 1 percent of vodka consumed in the US is produced in Russia.
Still, it illustrates the widespread condemnation of Russia's attack on Ukraine.
You can see this spirited rejection of all things Russian or Russian-like, or formerly Russian in the way people are patriotically attacking American citizens.
"We are being targeted and they are forgetting that we are Americans, too," Brezhneva said.
Brezhneva has lived in Vegas for more than 25 years. Her three kids are Vegas born and she loves the community deeply.
Yeah, yeah, we've all heard that, before, haven't we?
Okay, bad example.
Look, these may all be empty gestures, but at least they're also tinged with racism and prejudice.
Is the alternative WWIII?
No, the alternative is to stop doing those things, to focus on what things we can do that might have an impact, all the while trying to avoid triggering WWIII.
That might not be as satisfying as dumping out Russian Vodka (that might not even be Russian) but it's also a lot less stupid.
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