So this happened:

Approximately five people were surprised at this new development...

The prison workers, Tova Noel and Michael Thomas, were accused of sleeping and browsing the internet instead of monitoring Epstein the night he took his own life in August 2019.

They were charged with lying on prison records to make it seem as though they had made required checks on the financier before he was found in his cell. New York City's medical examiner ruled Epstein's death a suicide.

A "suicide."

I'm not making a specific claim in case the fact checkers wonder. I just wanted to quote that last word for no apparent reason at all.

The two have "admitted that they ‘willfully and knowingly completed materially false count and round slips regarding required counts and rounds'"

Kinda makes you wonder what other skeletons are buried in this completely random case that doesn't involve both horrible sex crimes and some of the most powerful people on the planet!

Sen. Ben Sasse wasn't happy that the guards are avoiding jail time.

"One hundred hours of community service is a joke — this isn't traffic court," Sasse said. "The leader of an international child sex trafficking ring escaped justice, his co-conspirators had their secrets go to the grave with him, and these guards are going to be picking up trash on the side of the road."

I assume Sasse's concerns will be ignored and we'll be told there's nothing else to see here.

I'm not telling you what to believe. I'll just leave you with a completely random thought from Captain Kirk.