Our Valentine's Day list of strange promotions is getting longer and longer.
There's the naming cockroaches after your sweetheart or ex promos:
The naming a feral cat after your ex before spaying or neutering it promo:
Now, Pizza Hut is jumping in with "Goodbye Pies," a breakup pizza you can send your sweetheart before you have to buy him or her a Valentine's gift.
On their website, Pizza Hut says,
Breakups are awkward. We can help. Send a free Hot Honey Goodbye Pie from now through Valentine's Day, and the delivery driver will deliver the bad news in the best way.
They also have an excuse generator to send along with your pizza for why the breakup is necessary.
It's not AI generated, so there are only a few options to choose from. Here are my favorites:
- You know too much about stuffed crust for your own good.
- I need to spend more time with my pet tarantula and on an unrelated note I never learned how to love.
- I know you're just using me to reach high stuff in your apartment.
- I want a partner who likes long walks and cuddling and giving me kisses and now that I'm saying that I think I'm just describing a dog.
- I have a rare disease where I can't respond to your texts anymore.
- You ate all my cheese sticks and didn't offer to replace them.
- I have been reborn as a mighty falcon and now I must migrate south for the winter.
- I can't tell if you're joking about not believing in the moon landing.
- I'm moving to the forest to start a new family amongst the squirrels.
And then there's the most honest one:
- I really didn't want to have to buy you a Valentine's gift.
Now, before you get too excited about ordering one of these, Pizza Hut is only offering them in the following zip codes:
| Location | Zip Codes |
|---|---|
| New York | 10025 |
| Chicago | 60647, 60622 |
| Miami | 33142 |
There are also only 11 breakup pizzas available in each zip code per day from now until Valentine's Day.
You're going to have to be very serious about breaking up with your sweetie if you intend to get one of these pies.
I mean, if you don't get in there quick and order one of these suckers, you're going to find yourself having to buy roses on the way home from work come Valentine's Day.
However, if you do miss the window or live outside these zip codes, you could always just order your sweetie a pizza with pineapple on it.
That'll end the relationship for you.
Alternatively, you could just stop living for yourself and embrace love and pineapple-free pizza.
It's worth it.
Trust me.
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