In today's edition of pulling on heartstrings to push political agendas, First Lady DOCTOR Jill Biden says we owe it to our dogs to wear a mask, even while we're outside walking our dogs away from any other humans at all.

You never know when that sneaky Rona is gonna jump out from behind a tree!

Here's the PSA from Biden that will run during the "Puppy Bowl" on Super Bowl Sunday.

"The unconditional love from a dog is one of the most beautiful things on earth and we owe it to them to keep ourselves healthy," said the esteemed doctor, apparently oblivious to the human babies again being ripped apart overseas on our tax dollars due to her husband's orders.

Ah, yes, it is my duty – nay, my moral imperative – to stay safe and healthy for the sake of animals.

I mean, I also owe it to my family and fellow human beings who bear the image of the living God to not live in fear and ignorance, but whatevs.

But if it will make a puppy sad, I have to listen.

This mOrAl and sCiEnCe-based approach just makes sense. Take a look at how I just barely escaped Rona on my last walk:

Remember, this virus that poses less risk to me personally than the snowplow driving toward me doesn't need human vectors to spread. It can go through walls, survive in deep snow, and teleport at a whim. The only way to survive it is to hide my face, never see other people, and shame anyone who isn't afraid like a mentally stable, sane human being!

I mean, what type of person would disagree?

Think of the dogs, you monster!