Rustling through a pile of LEGOs produces a very distinct sound. It's also loud enough to hear from three rooms over. And any parent will tell you if the sound lasts too long, your eye will begin to twitch.

So, would someone please explain to me why LEGO thought creating an album of the irritating sounds of someone rifling through, pouring out, and generally playing with LEGOs would be a good idea?

Oh, and the monsters had the AUDACITY to call it a white noise album!

White noise is supposed to be relaxing. People go to sleep to white noise. But this... this is like waterboarding for your ears.

Oh, and it's THREE AND A HALF HOURS LONG.

This album should be condemned as a war crime.

Don't believe me? Go listen for yourself. But don't say I didn't warn you.

You can suffer through LEGO White Noise on Spotify and Apple Music.