Man sues Hawaiian rolls maker for not actually making the rolls in Hawaii
· Dec 31, 2020 ·

A man in New York is real salty about his favorite "Hawaiian" rolls not actually being made in Hawaii.

First of all, if you've never had a Hawaiian roll, you are probably very healthy – and also your life is very sad.

These melt-in-your-mouth bites of heaven are the brainchild of Robert Taira, who founded his bakery in Hilo, Hawaii in the 1950s. Taira added a little extra sugar and pineapple juice to his bread, giving it that extra shot of sweetness that's sure to induce an insulin coma after every meal.

Because sugary bread is basically the foundation of the American diet, Taira's idea took off. He opened a few more bakeries, including one in California. He then renamed the company "King's Hawaiian" and the rest is history.

At any time of day, nearly anywhere in America, a person can have a bag of King's Hawaiian rolls in hand within minutes.

New York citizen Robert Galinsky, however, is not happy with these bags of abundant, sweet bread. Oh, no. You see, despite featuring Hawaii on the bag, the iconic rolls are no longer actually made on the island – instead being shipped en masse from a facility in Torrance, California.

Galinsky says he was duped – no doubt his entire sense of reality itself came unraveled – when he learned this devastating news. He's suing to ensure no one suffers the same earth-shattering fate – you know, of learning that their insanely-cheap sugar bread produced by the free market was made in a location that would allow said cheap food to remain, well, cheap.

After all, if you had bought a bottle of $300 wine that you thought was from Tuscany, but it turned out that it had been manufactured in an Alabama sewage plant, wouldn't you be upset? This is basically the same thing, right?

Galinsky also takes issue with the fact that King's Hawaiian has sued to try to keep the billion other bread companies from taking their proprietary name.

In other words, he's looking for a nice settlement check.

A cool fifty grand would buy a lot of sweet rolls, after all.

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