Someone summon the priests of #sCiEnCe! Maryland has unlocked the secret to defeating the 'Rona and its epidemic 99.99% recovery rate. As of July 31, Maryland is not only requiring masks in public businesses, but is also requiring them in outdoor spaces where social distancing is difficult. Of course, exactly what public spaces this policy covers is a massive grey area that I'm sure won't be abused.
Some good citizens, knowing that government has never abused its power and does everything out of benevolence and love, immediately thought of how to trade more of our freedoms and accelerate our descent into a police state:
Gasp! This person saw families and children enjoying the outdoors without masks??! The villainy! The horror! #DefundThePolice may still be trending, but if there's one place we need to beef up security, it's at parks and on bike trails where families might be enjoying the summer sun and the medicine of laughter.
Governor Larry Hogan had this to say about the new policy:
"This expansion of the masking order is an action that is both fact based, apolitical, and solidly grounded in science."
There you have it folks. Despite the current debate over the actual efficacy of masks, #sCiEnCe has spoken. If you don't wear masks while walking down the street or enjoying an ice cream cone in the park, you want grandma to die.
Some lame people, like parents, free thinkers, and everyone with a normally functioning brain saw some issues with this. Take Crystal, who had the audacity to suggest that kids covering their mouths while playing sports in the summer heat might cause some issues:
How dare she use common sense to counter #sCiEnCe!
Others had the gall to use the straight statistics (sourced from Google no less), to point out that despite an uptick in the number of overall cases, deaths (including, as we know, those of murder and auto accident victims sadly killed by coronavirus) are continuing to decline:
Statistics, stamishtics. All hail the might of #sCiEnCe!
Now back indoors with you, you ungrateful Marylanders!
