Ah, yes, the charm of a New York City beach!
Just close your eyes, breathe in the sweet scent of exhaust fumes, groove to the soothing sounds of honking horns and road rage, and dip your toes in the crowded, fecal-infested water. It's almost like you're on the French Riviera - if the Riviera had a gritty, urban twist!
At least, that's the comparison New York City Mayor Eric Adams made.
Naturally, Adams got absolutely blasted in the comment section. 591 likes and 1.3k comments. Gotta love that ratio. 😂
Check out some of my favorites:
Seriously, whoever is managing his X page, there had to be a better photo to choose from!
Perhaps there also could have been a bit more realistic comparisons, for example:
"New York City beaches are like sunbathing in a crowded subway car in the middle of the summer with broken air conditioning and a sprinkle of sand for ambiance."
Or
"New York City beaches are just like our very own Gowanus Canal but with more seagulls and crime."
Anyways, I fixed it for you, mayor:
Surf's up!
New York City's beaches are our Chernobyl shoreline, and they're officially open for everyone to endure!
Grab your towels, hazmat suit, and industrial-strength sanitizer because the summer vacation of your very worst nightmare is just a subway ride (with only about 3 transfers) away.
Who needs crystal-clear waters and pristine sand when you can have crowds, grime, and a splash of mystery contaminants? Dive in, if you dare!
Brooklyn’s Dead Horse Bay – Archaeology Magazine (Courtesy Jason Urbanus)
P.S. Now check out our latest video 👇
