Important update on McDonald's sketchy ice cream machines: The manufacturer is being sued for allegedly intentionally rigging them to break! 😦

Aug 13th

There's some shady stuff going on with the McDonald's ice cream machines and we must discuss.

I always thought the McDonald's dude was lying or lazy (or both) when he told me the ice cream machine was "broken."

The manufacturer allegedly rigged the machines to break so they could rack up repair bills! 🤯

Kytch, Inc. filed a lawsuit against Taylor Company, which makes the McDonald's ice cream machines.

Kytch alleges Taylor "designed flawed code that caused the machines to malfunction." Moreover, Taylor had a monopoly on repairs for the machines.

"[Taylor] did a really effective job at frightening off all of our customers and investors, so we're hoping the public will support our case in the name of justice, right to repair, and humanity," Kytch co-founder Jeremy O'Sullivan said.

This reminds me of when Apple admitted they intentionally throttle performance on older iPhones after the release of newer models.

There's an entire tradition of memes based on the phenomenon that McDonald's ice cream machines are seemingly always broken. In October 2020, someone started a website to display U.S. McDonald's locations with a currently operational ice cream machine.

These memesters were on to something!

I thought the only reasons were laziness or bad management. I never dared concoct a conspiracy theory about the manufacturer rigging it. I guess I've been too naive!

"We are optimistic that the truth will prevail," Kytch co-founder Melissa Nelson said. "Kytch is just a small piece of the broader right-to-repair movement. But our case makes clear that it's past time to end shady business practices that create hundreds of millions of dollars of unnecessary repair fees from ‘certified' technicians."

In April, Taylor took a shot at Kytch by alleging Kytch's diagnostic machines were dangerous and could cause "serious human injury." McDonald's Corp. told its franchisees the same thing.

"We still have some diehard customers sticking with us, though few in comparison to what we once had before McDonald's and Taylor called our product dangerous," Sullivan said.

It's a three-way litigation battle royale, ladies and gentlemen!

So, from now on, when they tell you the machine is broken, cut the poor local franchise some slack. It ain't their fault. They're just caught in the crossfire of this McDonald's-Taylor-Kytch Battle of the Three Armies.

None of this excuses the McDonald's employees being too dang lazy to stir my Oreo McFlurry, though! 😤

P.S. Now treat yourself to our latest video about a psychotic deer rescuing a rabbit by stomping the life out of a freaking hawk:

P.S. Now check out our latest video: No, Biden did NOT inherit his failures 👇

Keep up with our latest videos — Subscribe to our YouTube channel!


There are 52 comments on this article.

Ready to join the conversation? Start your free trial today.

Access comments and our fully-featured social platform, completely free of charge.

Sign up Now
App screenshot

You must signup or login to view or post comments on this article.