McDonald's ice cream makers are broken because... RACISM!!
· Oct 28, 2020 ·

Okay, gang! It's time once again to spin the Wheel of Racism™ to see what's racist today!

Oh, look at that! It landed on...

McDonald's ice cream machines!

Okay, "ice cream" might be a generous label for what McDonald's serves. Regardless... I've often thought those devilish things were problematic in some way, but never imagined they'd be full-blown racist!

You just don't expect it from a company whose mascot is a 1920's minstrel act.

Sadly, it's true. At least, according to an article from Vice.

Here's what happened:

"...a programmer has reverse-engineered the McDonald's app to track inoperable ice cream machines across all 14,000 locations in the U.S."

Not gonna lie... that's friggin' genius. Anyone who's ever craved McDonald's soft serve has heard those tragic words at some point: "Sorry, our ice cream machine isn't working right now." This genius programmer created a website called, which allows everyone to find out which McDonald's locations will be able to serve up that delicious imitation ice cream... and which ones only offer the taste of bitter disappointment.

So what's the problem?


McDonald's locations were overrepresented in white areas while locations with broken ice cream machines skewed Black and low-income.

Wait a second... You're telling me that low-income areas aren't as likely to have the most well-maintained, efficient ice cream machines in all the land? Golly, I bet you'll tell me they're more likely to have car parts on their front lawns and Rottweilers behind chain-link fences, too!

And, yes, I'm saying "low-income" neighborhoods, not "Black and low-income." More often than not, when an article uses the phrase "black and low-income," what they really mean is just "low income." While there is going to be overlap between low-income neighborhoods and ethnic groups that statistically have lower income, the skin color of the individuals in an area rarely has much to do directly with why, for example, an ice cream machine might not be operating at their local fast food restaurant. The fact is, the flow of money in an area is going to directly correlate to the general upkeep of that area.

A person's skin color, on the other hand, does not impact the functionality of an ice cream machine.

Of course, try telling that to the researchers at the Urban Institute, as quoted by Vox:

"...this a troubling trend, regardless of the cause."

And then the article closed with this harrowing thought:

"..the data paints a grim reality for Black, Latinx, and low-income neighborhoods."

To be honest, if the fact that you have a higher percentage of broken imitation ice cream dispensers is the problem that requires your policy makers' and community leaders' attention, maybe you don't have it so bad...

Nonetheless, this injustice must be rectified! When I run for public office, I will make this my primary platform:

I promise to end McDonald's RACIST ice cream machine inequity!

...and after that, I'll tackle Burger King's paper crown shortage.


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