Former CNN star Don Lemon's new show on X has been canceled after just one episode, so you may be wondering where to turn for totally truer than true news. Never fear! We are here with an exclusive list of important headlines covering and uncovering the real news behind all the scenes. Only here in the Babylon Bee Forum News will you learn the shocking truth about Boeing, husbands, Moses' mom, and more! All week long, the forum sleuths, otherwise known as ‘Babylon Bee subscribers', have been posting astonishing news on our Headline Forum and diligently upvoting some of the shareable ones to report to the outside world. Enjoy!
Top Headlines of the Week - a selection of headlines with the most upvotes by forum members:
- Several Killed In Gaza After Airdropped Aid Turns Out To Be Part Of The Plane @dontslowtheearth
- Flight Attendant On Boeing Plane Tells You What To Do In The Event Of A Safe Landing @pure_teej
- Lucky Child Receives DEI Easter Basket Full Of Broccoli @kirgol
- Rookie Millennial Struggles To Decide Which Personality Disorder To Have @realmccoy
- Boeing Forgets The Nuts And Bolts Of Making Airplanes @gfanson
- Fulton County Trump Case Moved To A Circus Tent @disidente_redactico
- Robert De Niro Can't Go To Sleep Unless His Parents Check Under His Bed For Donald Trump @fishythepenguin
- Husband Can't Think Of Ways To Explain To Wife That He Has No Thoughts @drconservativeprof
- Hog Who Suffered A Lifetime Of Morbid Obesity Finally Cured @skp
- California Christians Report The Promised Land Of Texas Flows With Sweet Tea And Brisket @afnarr
- Inflation Increases 3.14% In Honor Of Pi Day @alola_rychu
- Boeing Whistleblowers Silent After Being Threatened With Flying On A Boeing Plane @showquest
And here are a few more of my favorites of the week:
- Archeologists Unearth Moses' Mom's Ox Cart With ‘Choose Life' Sticker Still On The Back @aussiemama
- Democrats Call Evidence Exonerating Trump A Dirty Trick To Prove He's Innocent @toddsbee
- Kirk Blames Influx Of Tribbles On Previous Enterprise Captain @thevoice
- Time Traveling P.T. Barnum Excited To Make A Fortune With All The Bearded Women Walking Around @unclecrumpty
- Whoops! Wealthy Liberal Wears ‘Eat The Rich' T-Shirt In Haiti @franciscope
- "Drab, Boring, Low In Nutrition" Pens Distraught Newborn In Scathing One Star Review Of Dad's Left Shirt Sleeve @inspectormichaelcall
- Boeing Announces Plans To Buy All Planes From Airbus @sulaco
- Nursing Union Opposes Congressional TikTok Ban @trooper777
- Local Man Made Mute Like Zachariah, Wife Doesn't Notice @nicalys
- Boeing Attaches ‘If Found, Drop In Any Mailbox' Tags To All 737 Parts @neohillbilly
BONUS - One randomly selected headline:
- FBI List Of Alt-Right 'Hate Groups' Given To Banks Includes: Kiwanis, Knights Of Columbus, Rotary, Shriner's, And Order Of Free Gardeners @grouchysmurf
Do you have breaking news to report? Join us! Who knows, your headline might get published or featured on the Babylon Bee homepage, or it could show up here in our re-cap of the top headlines of the week. Thousands more totally true headlines were posted this week on the forum, but sadly, only Bee subscribers can read them. You did get to read a few, though, so if you have a favorite, please let us know in the comments!
Cover photoshop by subscriber @Disidente_Redactico
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