Earlier this month, around the Fourth of July, Tacoma, Washington, police were alerted to a human finger lying on the ground.
Investigating officers said they did not find any blood in the area, and the finger looked like it had been left there by an animal, probably a bird.
Police investigated the finger's origin. They ran the print with a portable fingerprint scanner and checked with local hospitals to see if someone had been dismembered, but everything they tried came up empty-handed.
TPD Public Information Officer Detective William Muse documented the department's efforts to locate the finger's owner, and then turned it over to the Pierce County Medical Examiner's Office.
Weeks later, someone called in claiming the finger.
The man identified himself by his surname and admitted to losing multiple digits 'messing around with some fireworks.'
This bears repeating.
The guy lost multiple fingers playing with fireworks, but there were no hospital reports.
Why didn't he go to the hospital?
But rather than asking a useful question like that, the police just wanted to be sure it was the right guy because apparently, the handful of missing fingers wasn't evidence enough.
Muse didn't provide the identity of the man who claimed the finger in his statement. He did explain the latent prints on the recovered finger correspond with the information about the person available in the FBI database.
What's he doing in the FBI database?
Was he making conservative memes or something?
I'm going to guess probably not, since the Washington police let him go.
Muse concluded his statement by saying the case hasn't been assigned to an investigator and added that no criminal charges will be pursued.
And this is the part of the story that really gets me.
The police returned the finger to the owner.
It's been weeks since it came off.
There's no way it's going back on now.
So what is he going to do with it?
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