You've read all the stories about how bad crime is in New York with its horrible catch-and-release policies.
But take heart, because New York is cracking down on crime by making it illegal to buy spray whipped cream if you're under 21.
That's right: The same New York that opened "safe-injection" sites so medical professionals can administer heroin and other illicit drugs to addicts has now banned the sale of spray whipped cream to minors.
Satirical jabs aside, apparently, spray whipped cream uses nitrous oxide to propel the cream into the foamy goodness atop our ice-cream sundaes. Addicts are buying up whipped cream, pulling out the nitrous oxide canisters, and inhaling the gas, which is called a "whippet."
Nitrous oxide, more commonly known as laughing gas, has been used for decades as a general anesthesia but can also cause fun side effects like hallucinations, brain damage, dementia, and death when used inappropriately.
Who knew we were living on the edge with our whipped cream for so long when it was full of drugs?
The DEA says that 1 in 5 minors have used an inhalant like a whippet before 8th grade, and a lot of the side effects are irreversible.
So, now New York retailers are required to check the age of a person before they can buy whipped cream.
I remember buying cans of this stuff with my friends as a kid. We never once thought about cracking it open and sniffing the stuff; we got our highs the old-fashioned way with a straight sugar-rush.
I'm honestly shocked and horrified by the whole turn of events… and also for some unknown reason, I'm really craving an ice cream sundae.
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